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| Dusk lavender, Provence 2013, personal picture. |
Sometimes, life runs by and there is barely enough energy to keep up. And sometimes, the stream slows down, and all the little questions and reflections we didn't have time to notice squash us in the face like little rocks and leaves and sticks following us downstream when life was at full speed. Have you ever questioned your legitimity as an aspiring minimalist? I have, and here are a few thoughts about this.
It all started when I decided to make a list of everything I have done toward a simpler, more ethical and conscious life in 2015. Nine years after my return from Japan, the exchange year that woke me by the extreme consumerism in Tokyo and the sheer number of things I had to bring back to France. Four years after I realized just how much time and money I was devoting to things of image, like clothing and make-up products.
As I tried to muster that list, I realized I hadn't done much toward my bigger goals of being a more responsible consumer, and human on this planet. More interestingly, that list mostly contained things I had purchased, or refused to purchase. "Found a new organic store to get my items in bulk". "Only bought emergency jeans at high fashion stores." "Bought linen tops instead of cotton or synthetic fabrics."
And, as I tried to set up goals for my new year's resolutions, most of what I came up with also concerned consumption habits and item choices "Buy from local creators or ethical brands", "Keep a budget for clothes and beauty products". It was as if I was only capable of measuring my actions in terms of what I buy and what I own.
Surely, we vote with our wallets and the way we behave as consumers - the brands we decide to purchase from, the shops we go to - has an impact on being a conscious consumer and living a simple life. But is this all there is to it? At the age of greenwashing and organic everything, am I really successful at leading a simple life, or am I a fake, cleaning my conscience with a few green purchases while behaving exactly the same as I always have?
Defined by what we acquire and own
When you watch the documentary Century of the Self, it becomes clear that we have been tricked into identifying ourselves with what we consume. Want to be a free woman? Smoke some cigarettes, said Edward Berneys to the 1920's women in order to increase the sales of cigarettes in the US. Want to be an eco-conscious consumer? Buy our green product, say many companies and brands today.It seems a natural reaction in our consumerist society to create change through objects - buying sports gear when we want to live a healthier life, buying organic and local products when we want to be a more conscious consumer, buying simpler, more natural ingredients and tools when we want to lead a simpler life.
And it is a perfectly honorable first step, in my humble opinion. When I started simplifying my life in 2011, my first reaction was to cut my hair, toss my high heels, and buy some simple clothes from down-to-earth brands. As a way to show my will to be a simpler person. But objects should be tools, catalyst perhaps, to something more, and not an end of the actions to take.
Just like 1920s women had much more on their plate than smoking cigarettes if they wanted to be free (say, protest for the right to vote, for example), you'd have to do more than just buy the sports gear in order to have healthier habits. You'd have to actually practice sports. And in order to embrace simple living as a way of life, owning green products isn't quite enough either.
A fake, or in construction?
The truth is, it is easy to believe marketing when they say "buy my organic product and you'll be helping the planet". It is easy to buy a COS dress with clean lines, a luxurious "everyday bag" and a couple of organic linen tees. In today's society, it is easier to buy things than it is to find other ways to grow and contribute.The question is, does it make me a fake? If I knew the answer, I wouldn't be writing this post, but here are some ideas, in case you also see yourself in what I'm describing above, or end up asking yourself, somewhere in your journey, whether you are on the right track.
Searching Yourself
To me, the path of simplicity has been a journey of self discovery, first and foremost. The initial shock after my exchange year in Tokyo came from the fact that I never believed myself capable of buying so much stuff in a year. In 2011, I realized I was projecting an image completely different to who I thought I was, and started wondering if I knew myself so well, and if my actions were in line with my values.
And that is the point: we are not what we buy, we are not defined by what we consume or own. During these instances of self realization, it was as if I was a woman during the 1920s, smoking a cigarette and suddenly realizing I was ruining my health rather than being free.
I guess my point here is: the first step to this kind of journey - toward simplicity, a meaningful and conscious life - is to know yourself. As long as you are still searching, in the midst of identity crisis and self esteem rebuilding, there is little energy left for big habit changes and turning toward others. But there is enough energy for a start of change. To do the easy part. To buy alternative items.
The Spiral Upwards
I dedicated a full post about this last year, but I have noticed that change, evolution is neither a straight line, as we tend to believe on good days, or an endless circle, as we tend to believe on bad days. It is rather, a sort of spiral upwards. During a year, we have up and downs, busy and quiet periods, motivation and fatigue, mindfulness and automatisms. But over the long run, we keep learning, little by little. As the circle go round, we spiral up rather than ending up where we were some years ago.
One of the Four Agreements is: "Always do your best". If you keep working toward a simple life, if you keep doing your best, then all of this is part of the journey. Buying from ecologic brands is a part of the journey. Discovering that a certain brand is really owned by a huge conglomerate and that we have been greenwashed is a part of the journey (cough Melvita cough). Building our identity and self esteem on the journey to simplicity by buying A.P.C. jeans and RMS beauty balms is a part of the journey. And wondering if you are a fake is a part of the journey.
Moving Forward
I guess I could have written this article in my private journal rather than the blog, if the only point was to wonder whether I, personally, am a fake or not. I am not looking for people to reassure me that I'm genuine. I'm rather sharing this part of the journey, so you have a read to go back to if you ever wonder the same about yourself one day.Also, I have decided to write this on the public blog, because I have witnessed many friends, bloggers etc. stuck at the consumption part of the simplicity journey. This is an easy part to keep stuck in for all the reasons I mentioned above: we are formatted to believe our identity is shaped by what we buy, it is easier to buy things that make us feel the way we want to be, rather than do the hard work of actually becoming that person. And I'm writing this without judgement, as I believe to be stuck at this point myself at the moment.
The question is, how do we move forward? Once the capsule (or not capsule at all, as a matter of fact) wardrobe is constituted and balanced, what's next? Once we have found organic stores and local creators and ethical brands, what's next? Once we have started knowing ourselves and built a solid and balanced self esteem, what's next?
As a first set of clues to answer these question, I have worked on that list of things I have done toward a simple life, but removing the consumption and items part of it and tried to find other actions. And there are some: playing the violin again, finding my childhood minerals, writing fiction, spending more time with friends and family, practising sports and eating healthier meals, wondering what else I could do to be the change I want to see in the world...
What do you think about all this? Are you engaged in a simplicity journey, if so, what else is there, beyond rethinkig consumption habits? Have you ever felt like "a fake"?
You are so right about the ease of buying things as a substitute for changing how we act. I noticed that a while ago myself and have been trying to reframe when I start thinking this way and trying to only buy things that are true necessities, including redefining what is really a necessity. Thanks for this insightful post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! It is true that it needs reframing sometimes, when we are trying to go the easy way with buying certain things. It's reassuring to read I'm not the only one who's been asking myself these :)
DeleteThank you for this post. I have been thinking about a similar question to yours, but concerning the authenticity in my journey. Am I carving my own path, my own beliefs or am I just following a different group of people, convinced to be truthful to myself? And being stuck here, questioning my authenticity, can feel like a regression in life instead of an evolution.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel that way too, like I've been following another trend, created another mask, instead of having found myself after my mini identity crisis 4 years ago. But my 2 cents is, I don't think it's a regression, I think it's a part of the journey. I don't know if you've heard about "the Four Agreements", which was a very enlightening read when I first got that book. My point here is the writer published an "update" of sorts with his son 20 years later, called the Fifth Agreement, and this agreement was to embrace doubt. I think it may be healthier to doubt sometimes, to self question, rather than being overly confident in our beliefs, if that makes any sense. But it isn't easy, it feels like a step back for me too, for sure.
Deleteyou've put it nicely, Kali, and I agree that question yourself along the process is probably more healthy than going through it in blind eyes. But in the midst of the doubt, it's more difficult to embrace this part of the journey. I've heard about "the four agreements", I relate to their meaning, but I haven't read the book yet. I'll definitely check it out, together with the update, since embracing doubt is really something I could/should handle better. Thank you so much!
DeleteI always really appreciate reading your thoughts on this stuff -- your posts make me think deeply & have definitely had an effect on my own efforts to re-orient myself away from consumerism, so thank you for continuing to blog about this. I know what you mean about the trap of thinking, "Oh, I bought something handmade from a small independent creator, yay!" -- it's way better than buying from Primark (if one can afford to do so, of course), but it's by no means the best most effective step, & I struggle with that a lot too.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to hear this can be useful! Sometimes I wonder if that kind of ramble makes any sense to anybody else. I guess it is helpful to think positively about small creator purchases as it is a little step towards being a more conscious consumer (and citizen), as it gives some motivation. But sometimes it feels too easy, into the comfort zone, if it makes any sense. I guess realizing this is a first step right? Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one with that struggle, that's helpful too :)
DeleteI am so glad to see someone else already familiar with Century of the Self!!! I also have been thinking lately about "post-" issues: "post-fashion" == capsule wardrobe, "post-clutter" == KonMari-ed house (which I am *not* close to finished with, but the clothes are done!)...and the things I find pleasure in. What's the point of going to the auction if my house is furnished, or the annual charity Christmas shopping trip with girlfriends if my wardrobe is set? I'm not calling myself a 'fake', but who can I hang out with, and what will we do, if we're not putting that emphasis on purchasing? So far, the answers I've found are: restaurants, adventures, theater, making music, dancing, gardening. Putting joy out there in the world, and supporting the joy that others find/share/make.
ReplyDeleteIt's an interesting perspective, the "post-"thing. It's true that the beginning of the journey is very concrete: decluttering, editing, organizing (capsule wardrobes and KonMari stuff, as you say :) ). But what comes after seems like a harder thing indeed, less concrete. It's like arriving at the end of a trail and not quite knowing where to go next. And it's also a good point that it's harder to find social activities etc. when you try not to put an emphasis about purchasing. I'd like to think we are creative enough with my friends and family to come up with alternatives, but the truth is, it's so engrained in our culture that it isn't that easy :) I love your suggestions though!
Deleteyour writing always amazes me. thank you for sharing this wonderful personal reflection!
ReplyDeleteThanks, I'm really touched by your kind word :)
DeleteI'm by no means the perfect 'aspiring minimalist', but I have to say that in my case, a search for a simpler wardrobe has organically lead to the search for a simpler life. Perhaps because my shopping habits really took a turn for the worse when I was in a bad place at work, which took its turn on my personal life, which lead me to question my values overall (in short!). So I feel that my current shopping recasting is very much a small part of a larger quest towards simplicity, which has many tentacles reaching out into my social life (prioritizing close friends and family and the necessary alone time instead of just randomly accepting invitations), my cooking and eating habits, my career decisions ... Material items make up a big part of the search for simplicity but I think mainly because that's the domain where you need to take the strongest stand against habits as well as social and cultural pressure.
ReplyDeleteI occasionally feel like a fraud as well, but that's mainly when I try to talk to others about my desire to own less, eat less meat, produce less garbage etc. Because I'm still at the start of that journey so my attempts must seem rather meager to full-out vegetarians, zero waste advocates or even plain people with naturally simpler lifestyles. But then I tell myself that babysteps will get me further than no steps at all. Also I like to repeat Brené Brown's credo that imperfection is the basis for true connection with other people.
You make a good point actually - the simplicity journey seems to revolve a lot around material items and consumption because this is something big in today's society, deeply rooted into our habits, culture, values and social life. I wonder what the next step to this journey is though. Sometimes I do feel like I'm not doing enough when I read these zero waste blogs or RV minimalists like you say, but you're right, these things have to be taken step by step, and the most important is to do our best. Thanks as always for your insightful comment :)
DeleteYou are right, sometimes, even if we buy organic, "good" products, it's the same consumerist itch we try to scratch. And maybe this is what we should try and avoid. But maybe if you think of all the things you have NOT bought and the things you chose to do instead, your list will look a bit different. What I've discovered to be a very good antidote to that consumerist itch in my case is trying to make things myself. I've tried it with several things with varying degrees of succes/failure. With cooking it usually works well, trying to make things you would usually buy, like almond milk and mustard and ketchup and what not. And it has worked wonders with beauty products, and now, every time I see a new beauty oil, for instance, I know I can make it at home and feel no need to buy it. And then there's growing herbs on a windowsill and so so much more. This will not work for everything, (clothes in my case are better bought from a shop:) ), but it comes with lots of fun and (almost) instant gratification. (Oh, and I'm a new commenter here, even if a long-time follower, so: hello:) )
ReplyDeleteHello to you too :) and thanks for your insightful comment! It's true that I have limited my list to certain things but when I compare where I am now compared to 10 years ago it's true that I can see huge differences - how I question purchases way more often than before, how I buy much simpler things (coconut oil versus make-up remover full of chemicals) and, as you say, everything I didn't buy. It's true that there is something gratifying in making my own products, cooking and growing some herbs, thanks for offering this perspective!
DeleteThank you for sharing your journey and in that way pushing all of us to think more deeply about our own. I often get stuck at the point of asking myself what shall I do for entert since I don't need to shop? I think I'm ready for music lessons. I already exercise at a gym regularly so feel another pursuit would be nice. I appreciate your honest sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind comment, I'm glad to hear this can be useful for other readers as well :) These sound like perfect hobbies to replace shopping with, my violin lessons have made me surprisingly happy, despite how hard this instrument is to master. Good luck on your new hobbies!
DeleteMan, your posts are everything I wish I could write but never quite manage to put into words. YES. Personally I feel like a fraud very often, especially as of late. There's been so much going on in my life that I haven't had any surplus mental energy for stopping myself from comfort shopping. Your thoughts in this post are spot on, and in the end I guess it's all about the continuous effort and the baby steps towards out goal.
ReplyDeleteHaha it seems we are always going along a similar questioning path :) I think it all comes down to doing our best and acknlowledging that sometimes, our best isn't very much, but that's always better than not trying at all. I guess that thought is comforting, at least for me, to keep the motivation going to keep trying :)
DeleteAll this talk makes me think how spoiled we are! Having to constantly keep ourselves in check in order to not buy too much. Or that we are at a loss for things to do that don’t involve purchases and acquisitions. When you look at it from the perspective of those much less fortunate it just seems sad. Then again, that’s the culture in which we were raised and simply the acknowledgment of our problem is worth a great deal.
ReplyDeleteIt is true that it seems sad from the outside. We have everything we need and more to be happy, but we seem to keep chasing fantasies, and trying to consume less, and trying to be more than what we consume. This can sound ironic for those who don't have enough to get by, and it's certainly sad that our culture has come to this. But as you say, when we are inside this culture, aknowledging the problem and trying to address it is already a big step.
DeleteOff topic here, sorry, but I don't have a smartphone, so no instagram - but I really need to say this:
ReplyDeletePeople say that human and pet tend to look more and more alike over time. And holy crap how your cat looks just like you in the newest instagram pic!!!
Haha does it? That's interesting, very 101 dalmatian-ish. Maybe we do imitate each other unconsciously, who knows :)
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