tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42789529732443605762024-02-21T12:49:15.266+01:00Dream Onsimplicity by la nife en l'airAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comBlogger234125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-7740068035390266282016-10-29T17:50:00.000+02:002016-10-29T17:50:47.228+02:00A breakthrough and a break<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKbfIg12zKfyB1S7cWTRgGGvMNpYQFx6ZwuY5zfkIcBsCSQ9NKNbCMberp5fGxp9md9lgJGuJOetjVuxct91PlzUadhK-LM-ert7_QPNq21zHRMjPLMeJY04M5g4j7RgD2ogYGt9369Pw/s1600/TNIF-Break.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKbfIg12zKfyB1S7cWTRgGGvMNpYQFx6ZwuY5zfkIcBsCSQ9NKNbCMberp5fGxp9md9lgJGuJOetjVuxct91PlzUadhK-LM-ert7_QPNq21zHRMjPLMeJY04M5g4j7RgD2ogYGt9369Pw/s640/TNIF-Break.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kyôto, 2016.</td></tr>
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<br />
As you may have noticed, I haven’t been very present around here despite my summer resolution to post every week. We have come a long way toward simplicity together, and I have come to maybe one of the biggest life changes I could make, thanks to these efforts toward a more mindful and intentional life.<br />
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<h3>
The trigger </h3>
I was first introduced to simplicity through closet curating, after I discovered that the image I was giving through my physical appearance didn’t match who I was, or who I thought I was.<br />
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I thought I was an avid reader, a curious and adventurous individual, a creator and a learner, a traveller and somewhat of a connoisseur of culture and art. In the meantime, I was dressing like a proper office lady in high heels and white shirts, wearing lots of make-up and jewellery, perhaps a little shallow, who “may not be able to lift a box” at events.<br />
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Thunderstruck by the difference between how I saw myself and how people saw me, I took a good look at my life and asked my closest friends. I hadn’t picked up a book in months, nor gone to an art exhibit, nor touched my piano or drawing pencils in years. Ever since my trip to Japan, I hadn’t travelled abroad at all by the beginning of 2011. My best friend confessed she thought I’d been talking a lot about clothing and make-up lately. My family confessed I acted a bit snobbish of late.<br />
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I had to admit to myself: this image my new co-workers had of me, of this snob office lady who wouldn’t lift a box, was closer to who I was becoming than I thought. Very far from who I thought I was, and farther even from who I wanted to be. That was the trigger that got me into simple living, even though I’d been poking around the idea since my year in Japan.<br />
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<h3>
Years of simplicity </h3>
If you have been following this blog for a while, you’ve probably seen most of the stages in my efforts toward a simple life. Perhaps you’ve been through your own at the same time, and I’m grateful we were able to share this together.<br />
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<b>Closet curating </b><br />
It all started with closet curating. Since the trigger was, initially, linked to how I dressed and how often I talked about clothes and make-up, this is where I decided to start. These were the years of <i>Dead Fleurette</i> and <i>Man Repeller</i> (Leandra has <a href="http://www.manrepeller.com/category/podcasts" target="_blank">an amazing podcast</a> by the way, I just found out).<br />
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I discovered wardrobe editing and capsules and project 333 and favouring quality over quantity at that time.
By the end of 2011, I got rid of 80% of my clothes and created a style canvas, neutral and basic, upon which I’d spend two years figuring out my own preferences, pieces I’d feel myself in while still sending the image I wanted to through my appearance.<br />
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<b>Minimalism </b><br />
These questionings around clothes consumption naturally guided me toward minimalism in general. When I saw the positive effects of buying fewer clothes and with a more intentional approach on my closet, it only made sense that I’d do the same for the rest of my belongings.<br />
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That’s when I went into minimalism and discovered influencers like Graham Hill’s <i>Life Edited</i>, Joshua Becker’s <i>Becoming Minimalist</i> and Leo Babauta’s <i>Zen Habits</i>. I also discovered TED talks at the time and reconnected with my curiosity and my love for learning. Marie Kondo was not yet popular; otherwise I’d have Kon’Maried the heck out of my place.<br />
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Minimalism led to thinking about consumer ethics: the impact of consumerism on the planet, the working conditions of factory workers, where resources come from…<br />
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But also, engaging in minimalism made me realize how much time and energy I was spending on material items – planning to buy them, purchasing them, taking care of them, organizing them, disposing of them. I was resolved to change this, and to dedicate my time to what I thought to be more worthwhile pursuits.<br />
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<b>Intentional living </b><br />
When you spend less time on curating the perfect collection of objects, how to spend it instead?<br />
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That’s when my simplicity efforts shifted away from material items and toward mindfulness, intentional living, growth…<br />
Basically, the question was: who am I? Who do I want to be? What do I want to do with my life? <b>The path to simplicity became a path to self-discovery</b>.
That’s when I figured out the details of my style, but that’s also when I bought a violin and took lessons, started reading and writing again.<br />
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Slowly, I was discovering what I wanted to do with my life, instead of focusing on what to own. It was a time of habit building, heavy reading around mindfulness, happiness and growth, trying to meditate in the morning and take long introspective walks in the evening.<br />
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This is the phase I am still at now, as I figure out how I want to live, the values that matter to me, and how to prioritize them. In a way, simplicity is about aligning our values (what we think) with our actions (what we do).<br />
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<h3>
The 2016 breakthrough </h3>
I’m calling this a breakthrough because it goes well with “break” in the article title, but I should rather call it a logical consequence of everything I have experimented and experienced these past five years (which would have been a long post title).<br />
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Long story short: I quit my job.<br />
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I’ve had great experiences working in communications for video game companies over the past six years, traveling and meeting people from all over the world. But discovering myself, my values and priorities made me realize this wasn’t the path I wanted for my career or life.
I’d gone to business school because of the social prestige, the promise of a job and, over time, a good pay. But what I really enjoyed were my years studying foreign languages.<br />
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Social prestige and high salary are the priorities of society, but not mine. Once I came to that realization, I decided to take my career to a new path. I don’t regret the jobs I’ve had so far, these were great experiences and they were instrumental in my understanding myself. But they no longer fit the life I want for myself. It’s time for a change.<br />
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<h3>
A break </h3>
Which brings me to the last piece of news I wanted to share today. At the moment, I no longer have a day job but pursue a number of personal projects, including freelancing as a communications expert and preparing an exam to become an English teacher. And these projects have to be my priority during this sabbatical.<br />
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This is a bit paradoxical, as I don’t have an office to go to 40+ hours per week anymore, but I actually have too little time to properly take care of this blog. I have much to figure out for myself in terms of career, much to learn to prepare for my exam, and I must dedicate more time to my French blog and other projects if I want to take them to the next level.<br />
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So, instead of writing a single blog post here and there, which would bring additional pressure to my task list and too short days, I have decided to take a break with this blog.<br />
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<b>What’s next? </b><br />
In terms of simplicity, I’m still experimenting a lot of things. Reducing waste, replacing supermarkets with shorter circuits in direct contact with the makers of the stuff I buy. I’m eating fewer and fewer meat and might become somewhat of a vegetarian in the near future. I’m writing short stories, one of which will be published in an anthology next year, and who knows, French speakers may very well see my name on a novel at a bookstore in a few years. Oh, and I started bullet journaling. That’s awesome. If you like stationery and organizing your life, you’d love it.<br />
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As for this blog, it is only temporarily closed: it’s been a pleasure to discuss and grow with you guys for all these years, and I’ll probably want to dedicate some time to writing in English again in the future.<br />
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In the meantime, I still have a sort of social media presence, although I’m also questioning it lately, and those of you who speak French can still read about my quest toward a happier and more meaningful life on my original blog, to which I do wish to dedicate more time in the coming months.<br />
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Thank you all for reading and commenting around here, I’m very grateful for this experience and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this blog. Of course, when I decide to write again around here, you’ll be the first to know!
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-26733264245720503392016-10-19T15:44:00.000+02:002016-10-19T15:44:22.910+02:00A feeling of abundance<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTWDgVj1oLtGDeK28t71KCyVvZn8OZ6s3Nwu6Mgbbc-m3egnRrop0GvnWtzf1adClzK-4RscuI-L-PD3TWHrVGRuJgtrlETLs3Vuqx6bSkuudoGDp-UZYC_rvwj4gzLpGn_d-8vmf0JJA/s1600/Aventuriales2016-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTWDgVj1oLtGDeK28t71KCyVvZn8OZ6s3Nwu6Mgbbc-m3egnRrop0GvnWtzf1adClzK-4RscuI-L-PD3TWHrVGRuJgtrlETLs3Vuqx6bSkuudoGDp-UZYC_rvwj4gzLpGn_d-8vmf0JJA/s640/Aventuriales2016-1.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Jardin Lecocq, in Clermont-Ferrand, Auvergne (France).</td></tr>
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According to the happiness MOOC I just completed (A life of happiness and fulfilment on Coursera), there are roughly two ways to approach life: with a feeling of <b>scarcity</b>, or with a feeling of <b>abundance</b>. Cultivating a feeling of abundance (of love, opportunities, blessings…) makes people happier in many ways. But what’s that?<br />
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<h3>
Scarcity vs Abundance</h3>
A feeling of scarcity means that you think resources are finite, and you need more in order to be happy or satisfied. This comes in the form of material wants of course (“I’ll be a way more organized student/freelancer once I have this great Oakwood desk”), but also in terms of love we give and receive, opportunities or feeling of luck…<br />
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For example, jealousy comes from a feeling of scarcity. Say you are jealous of your parents’ love for your siblings. That stems from the idea that the love “pie” your parents have is limited and if they give a slice to your siblings, it’s one slice you don’t get for yourself.<br />
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On the other hand, a feeling of abundance is when you think there are plenty of resources on earth, that your life is already blessed with enough, or even more than enough, and that there is enough for yourself and everybody else. In terms of material items, it would mean feeling grateful for the comfort we live in and stop waiting for the perfect chair or cardigan to start living fully.<br />
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In terms of love, it would mean you recognize there is enough love for everybody, and the resource multiplies itself. There isn’t only one “pie” of parental love to share among siblings. If your parents give a slice of love to your siblings, they will produce a new slice for you. Can you see how jealousy can’t emerge from this line of thinking?
Even without going into the details of research that has been done on the subject, it is easy to see how one is happier when they feel they’ve got everything they need, versus one that runs after always more.<br />
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<h3>
A society of scarcity</h3>
However, one of the problems we are facing today is that we live in a society that cultivates the feeling of scarcity.
Of course, most of us do not live in an environment of actual scarcity. I am assuming that if you are reading these words, you are among those who are well off on this planet.<br />
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And most of us <i>are </i>well off: we have enough to eat, a roof to live under, clothes on our backs, most of us have a loving family and/or friends, we live in a safe country with many opportunities…
So how does society cultivate a feeling of scarcity in such a situation? I have already written on the topic with Serge Latouche <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2013/03/false-abundance.html" target="_blank">concept of <i>fausse abondance</i></a> (fake or false abundance).<br />
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Basically, the idea is that despite having everything we need, most of us feel like we are lacking – of the newest gadget or outfit, of a better paycheck…
The way our current growth economy is built, we need to buy things in order for society to prosper, as buying items provides income and profit for companies who in turn employ people to make those items, etc.<br />
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Of course, the system is much more complicated than that, but the bottom line is: for our economy to thrive, we need to be good consumers.
And how else will you make someone buy your products, if not by telling them they lack of it in their life and therefore should buy it? Ads make us think we live a life of scarcity so that we end up buying more things. And of course, they play on emotions, on our innermost needs (for love, family…) for that. I suggest you to watch <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caUVnq-O1Z8" target="_blank">this School of Life video</a> for more details on that concept. It’s very clearly explained.<br />
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The result of that is, our environment tends to feed our feeling of scarcity in general (not only for material items) and we build wishlists and dream lives and perfect careers in our minds. Often we tend to forget how much abundance we already live in.<br />
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<h3>
Cultivating a feeling of abundance</h3>
Thankfully, we don’t have to keep following the consumerist spirit and feed our feeling of scarcity. Many happiness studies show that <b>instilling a few simple habits help cultivate a feeling of abundance</b> in our lives.<br />
Here are a few ideas:<br />
<ul>
<li>Write 2-3 good things that happened to you today before going to bed (gratitude journal) </li>
<li>Learn to practice gratitude with the people around you: thank them for the help, support and love they provide you </li>
<li>Some religious rituals also help – like thanking for the meal before eating. This is something that you can do in a non-religious way too – for example thanking the farmers who grew the vegetables.</li>
</ul>
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More generally, remembering on a daily basis how many people helps bringing what we have around us: the company who provides electricity, the craftspeople who designed and built our everyday objects, the scientists who discovered the technologies we now use daily…<br />
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It is a way to remember that we are a part of a whole, that the comfort, love and support we enjoy is made possible by hundreds, thousands of people around us. You can also <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful?language=en" target="_blank">watch David Steindl-Rast </a>explain how and why gratitude significantly improves happiness on TED.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I hope this simple concept, made very clear to me thanks to the happiness MOOC, brings some positive ideas to your life as well. If you are interested in some of those habits, practices and exercises to improve that feeling of abundance, please let me know and I can turn some of these into a Level Up mini-challenge!
</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-6995611270737565912016-09-29T19:35:00.000+02:002016-09-29T19:35:09.462+02:00Level Up Mini-Challenge : 10x10<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQid6VFlP5AH9A_hem_vS3Cw3h8H0VG9VTrnetYQ_6uqlZnYUYdpa1E9cYxpXHkslmNF0Q0hE05MMhYO32kXEf6JUMnn10FMBPqQAQx0bMTSAmLQhKQ0qRcpp41v-BlGVMF7omhBKmWLE/s1600/marinieres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQid6VFlP5AH9A_hem_vS3Cw3h8H0VG9VTrnetYQ_6uqlZnYUYdpa1E9cYxpXHkslmNF0Q0hE05MMhYO32kXEf6JUMnn10FMBPqQAQx0bMTSAmLQhKQ0qRcpp41v-BlGVMF7omhBKmWLE/s640/marinieres.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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It's been a long time since we've gone through a level up mini-challenge around here! Big changes come with small, manageable steps, so I like to give myself mini-challenges toward a simple life once in a while. This one I have picked from the lovely Caroline from <a href="http://www.un-fancy.com/outfits/fall-outfits/fall-remix-series-10-pieces-x-10-outfits/" target="_blank">Unfancy</a>: take 10 pieces of clothing to mix and match for 10 days.<br />
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<h3>
What is this wardrobe challenge?</h3>
Here is the simple version (it is a mini-challenge after all, it is supposed to be easy!). You can check Caroline's post for more details if you are interested.<i> </i>Basically, the idea is to select 10 pieces of clothing (tops, bottoms, dresses, shoes and outerwear). For the next 10 days, you will create your outfits only based on these.<br />
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<h3>
Why does it helps with a simple life?</h3>
As you may know if you've been around for a while, the consumption cycle for material items goes as this: acquire > use > discard. A simple life is about acquiring less, making the best use possible and discard carefully (cf<a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2016/09/on-reducing-waste.html" target="_blank"> zero waste</a>!)<br />
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With that kind of challenge, you optimize the "use" part of the cycle: making the best of what you own and finding new ways to get creative with your items instead of buying new things.<br />
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<h3>
Tips for the 10 x 10 challenge</h3>
I thought a new season was the perfect moment to start such a challenge, as the weather changes and fall (or spring if you are in the southern hemisphere!) items come in, it might be a good time to play with your closet and find new combinations that will work for you in the months to come. It is also a good way to rekindle old flames instead of going shopping.<br />
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Here are a few tips to select your 10 pieces:<br />
<ul>
<li>Be careful of the number of each category you pick (will you be able to last 10 days with only 2 tops?)</li>
<li>Think of the climate and lifestyle you'll have in the next 10 days</li>
<li>Adapt it to your needs : if you have a special event, maybe you can start the challenge afterwards or make that day a "break day" from the challenge. Maybe you won't want to include shoes but put scarves in. Your challenge, your rules!</li>
<li>You decide the level of challenge you'd like for this, but it might be easier to select a few neutral pieces to go with everything else (whatever neutral means to you), to make mixing and matching easier</li>
<li>Remember to have fun! The goal is to enjoy the new season coming, not to add extra hassle or constraints to your life</li>
</ul>
I have decided to go with rarely worn pieces for this mini-challenge. It will be a good way to assess their potential : either it gives me plenty of ideas to wear them more, or they'll go to charity.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I hope you'll join in this level up mini-challenge with me! Please let me know if you do, or if you've already done such challenges. I'd love to hear what you've learned.</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-9788360110523513802016-09-14T09:48:00.000+02:002016-09-14T09:48:56.941+02:00On reducing waste<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZIK1TXLG0J0uX-8hgikEXDVR5hjfMjbiarGv5ANmKaszABLJAd6suPxVJXqPRim4reU7Vg-OXm1bOp2Ih-A1eImCphzqEjqE5m5nBdOEE3PU-Jn7PoYS0MzenPOiSK1ZVPDhE_k2-sU/s1600/cupboard-jars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZIK1TXLG0J0uX-8hgikEXDVR5hjfMjbiarGv5ANmKaszABLJAd6suPxVJXqPRim4reU7Vg-OXm1bOp2Ih-A1eImCphzqEjqE5m5nBdOEE3PU-Jn7PoYS0MzenPOiSK1ZVPDhE_k2-sU/s640/cupboard-jars.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Personal picture</td></tr>
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<i>…and living a life more aligned with our values. </i><br />
Ever since I started on my path to simplicity, I have tiptoed around the concept of zero waste, or, in a more moderate way, making efforts to produce less waste.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
The consumption cycle consists in three parts: acquire, use, discard. To me, a simple life should have an effect on all of these steps – buy less, make a better use and care of what we have, and discard less.
With the zero waste movement, it is obviously the discard part we are tackling.<br />
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The zero waste advocates have managed to reduce their waste to one small jar a year or so. While they set a good example, to me, it seems a bit much for a start. It feels a bit hard to achieve. Like everything else, I prefer to adopt a moderate approach. A <i>do your best</i> policy.<br />
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Here are some tips <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF72px2R3Hg" target="_blank">that come from Lauren Singer</a> as a starting point to reduce trash:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Buy fewer packaged food products</b>: when possible, favour bulk options, farmer’s markets or bigger size packs to limit the quantity of trash produced by packaging. Avoid industrial food as much as possible and get your own jars and containers to store bulk products. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Make some of your own products</b> (beauty and cleaning for example), as you’ll only get the packaging from ingredients instead of throwing empty bottles each time you finish a product. Buying in bigger quantity is also a good option (that’s what I do for rosewater and vegetal oil for example) </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><b>Start a compost</b>, if you can. This is a great way to recycle organic waste (vegetable peels, tea leaves…) and create natural fertilizer for your garden/terrace/balcony. This isn’t an easy one at first sight, as one needs to know a bit about composts to get started, but it can be a good project to have for the longer term, if your living space allows it. </li>
</ul>
In any case, I am an advocate of step by step efforts. One little thing, like bringing your tea mug at work instead of using plastic glasses, is better than trying to do everything only to end up discouraged. It is always best to focus on little achievements rather than considering all there is left to do.<br />
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What about you? Are you trying to reduce waste at home? Please let me know if you are interested in the subject of zero waste. If so I may write more as I make small daily efforts to reduce waste at home.<br />
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Sources for more info and practical tips:<br />
<a href="http://www.trashisfortossers.com/" target="_blank">Trash is for tossers </a><br />
<a href="http://www.zerowastehome.com/" target="_blank">Zero waste home</a> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-41692872137603473992016-09-07T10:56:00.000+02:002016-09-07T10:56:08.971+02:00Forget Me Not | #4<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXaR7YBKNBYC1dHQGR2VSTGB3JjBO_ikdDnZvTxW6i9QzzuQT4BfEV8NfHrUtJ_IZpfzlM0iioc0hy4jKSmvz6c4MOIksozAkatKhbNhdHps7UlikLrBRtFvDJK6Hvk36Z4GxgDHSWkD8/s1600/Forget-Me-Not-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXaR7YBKNBYC1dHQGR2VSTGB3JjBO_ikdDnZvTxW6i9QzzuQT4BfEV8NfHrUtJ_IZpfzlM0iioc0hy4jKSmvz6c4MOIksozAkatKhbNhdHps7UlikLrBRtFvDJK6Hvk36Z4GxgDHSWkD8/s640/Forget-Me-Not-4.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">from <a href="http://instagram.com/kalygolo" target="_blank">instagram</a></td></tr>
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Time goes by so quick if we don’t take the time to appreciate all the little joys of life. Should we wait for the sparkles and the fireworks to remember a moment with awe? Yet the extraordinary is so rare. One of the messages of simplicity is to learn to enjoy the ordinary, the trivial that makes most of our life. Here are some daily pieces of life I have been grateful for lately.<br />
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Taking the time to notice and enjoy…<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
1. Making my own bracelets out of mineral stones. The enjoyment of doing.<br />
2. Strolling through my city the nose up in the air. Noticing the beauties of Paris, even those I’m seeing for the hundredth time.<br />
3. Preparing my wedding. Cutting origami paper and folding hearts for the invitations.<br />
4. The details of the city: 8-bit old school mosaics.<br />
5. Travels: the beautiful petite France in Strasbourg, Alsace.<br />
6. My little cabinet de curiosités: minerals and a hand-made cat incense holder brought back from Japan. </blockquote>
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Lately, I have also been grateful for all the books I’ve had the chance to read, the community of writers I’m working with, the support of my friends and family through a tough moment in life, lighting a scented candle and writing in my journal…<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>What tiny joys have you been grateful for lately?
</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-86865276528798624972016-08-31T11:25:00.000+02:002016-08-31T11:25:26.947+02:00The joy of learning and beginning again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiZm5u9WTQPqNxJCp9ka22piOv1ysALU35mblaGmLZHlsLpPn8hEIWQ4OTp6LCjgsNsv0Tc5x2rh50W4S1LcsLuCYmBalKJeOoo5zgFNcAF8H9njaXC8a8WtqPat_cyvCOUe-76WhV1nY/s1600/rentree2016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiZm5u9WTQPqNxJCp9ka22piOv1ysALU35mblaGmLZHlsLpPn8hEIWQ4OTp6LCjgsNsv0Tc5x2rh50W4S1LcsLuCYmBalKJeOoo5zgFNcAF8H9njaXC8a8WtqPat_cyvCOUe-76WhV1nY/s640/rentree2016.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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As you may have noticed if you live in the northern hemisphere, my favourite season is coming. The physalis is turning orange, plums are all over the market, and regular newscasters are back on TV after weeks of summer holidays. September is also the season for renewal - new activities, timetable, stationery, resolutions, and learning...<br />
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Apart from the new agendas, notebooks and scented candles, to me, the back to school season is an opportunity to refresh the "life plan" : what do you want for your life? Where are you at regarding resolutions you took at the beginning of the year? How are your projects and objectives going?<br />
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<h3>
Assessing daily habits and reaffirming objectives</h3>
It is said that what you do every day forges who you are. No matter your objectives - may it be in terms of simplification, life meaning, career, family, creative pursuits - it is with small daily steps that you see a big change after weeks, months and years.<br />
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But daily life is tricky : after the high of taking resolutions (may it be at the beginning of the new year or whenever you get to snap out of automatic habits to decide for a change), the daily obligations and routine creeps back in. Which is normal. One needs to work, clean, prepare food... With time, some good habits become natural and others become forgotten.<br />
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That's why I believe it is very positive to have these small rituals - the new year's resolutions and the back to school assessment, in my case - to snap out of daily life, take a look at how your objectives are going and rectify the course if need be.<br />
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Plus, it is the occasion to get a new agenda, try out new organisation methods, and, why not, do a bit of end of summer editing and minimizing!<br />
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<h3>
Learning, always</h3>
To me, the back to school season is also the symbol of learning new things, getting new classes and activities for the year to come. I've always been one of these weird children who actually liked to learn and enjoyed going back to school in september.<br />
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As an adult, it is too easy to get caught up in life and stop learning. But learning new things keeps life exciting, the brain on top of its shape and makes daily life a little less dull and a little more exciting.<br />
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It can be a time to look for a new professor, register at a club for new activities, night classes or even a MOOC!<br />
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This week, I have registered to a new Coursera MOOC that might be of interest to you if you are following this blog: <a href="https://www.coursera.org/learn/happiness" target="_blank">A life of happiness and fulfillment</a><br />
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Why do I like it? The idea from the Dr. Rajagopal Raghunatha, a marketing professor, was that the former students from his marketing school who had the best career were not necessarily the happiest ones. Business school doesn't teach people about life fulfillment. So he decided to start a class about how to be "<a href="http://happysmarts.com/" target="_blank">happy smart</a>", meaning understanding how happiness works in our brains to craft our own life fulfillment.<br />
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Similar to the <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2015/09/the-science-of-happiness.html" target="_blank">Science of Happiness MOOC I took last year</a> (and which is opening again soon if you are interested), this course is about all the studies on the human brain and what makes us happy or unhappy. As a very rational person, this scientific approach to well-being suits me well. <br />
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If you are interested in joining that MOOC, classes start this week and the first assignment is for September 4, although you can ignore assignments and simply learn the course materials. Chances are this will provide inspiration for future posts on the blog.<br />
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>What about you? What does september mean to you? Do you have rituals for new beginnings, assessments and motivation boosts?</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-9103000799682370132016-08-24T18:00:00.000+02:002016-08-24T18:00:22.979+02:00Seen and Inspired #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5PfMbDBkhmeCatwO_HMZ13WwIYyDynC4G2Jr0DKu_Q-CQLgcn71NDMGHMPvM3O_RBJfCC_MQfhatjqJf5dBikqFoTlr99bRzSxCxhcBiEQ-RODzlGIwGM1BX1kzEKhn2tpadSU0s1-ks/s1600/NIF-The_ete.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="402" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5PfMbDBkhmeCatwO_HMZ13WwIYyDynC4G2Jr0DKu_Q-CQLgcn71NDMGHMPvM3O_RBJfCC_MQfhatjqJf5dBikqFoTlr99bRzSxCxhcBiEQ-RODzlGIwGM1BX1kzEKhn2tpadSU0s1-ks/s640/NIF-The_ete.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
As I watched inspiring videos on YouTube recently, I thought it might be interesting to share some of those with you around a particular theme, as these videos may inspire you as they inspired me.
For this first article, I have gathered a few videos on the topic of stuff and minimalism.<br />
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What are the benefits of reducing our possessions? How can they hold us back from our dreams? How can minimalism help us be more aligned with our values? <br />
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<b>On TEDx | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XRPbFIN4lk" target="_blank">Adam Baker : Sell your crap. Pay your debt. Do what you love</a>. </b><br />
What is your definition of freedom ? How free are we when we work a job we don’t like to pay the debt we accumulated for things we bought in the past ? In this enlightening talk about freedom, dreams and money, here is a good question to ask ourselves.<br />
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What if simplicity and minimalism were a means to get the space, time and resources to pursue our true dreams, instead of an end in itself ?<br />
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<b>On TEDx | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyKmpyYy14k" target="_blank">The less you own, the more you have</a>, Angela Horn </b><br />
What is the real impact of stuff in our lives ? How much can downsizing material possessions positively affect our lives ? In this talk, Angela Horn mentions the benefits of less, beyond clear spaces and while walls. How can owning less and focusing less on objects enrich our lives…<br />
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<b>On Talks at Google | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1-HMMX_NR8" target="_blank">The life changing magic of tidying up</a>, Marie Kondo </b><br />
I don’t believe there is a need to introduce Marie Kondo and her life changing book about tidying up. I have to admit I haven’t actually read her book, as the web and simplicity channels and blogs have overflown with the KonMari method. I did watch this talk at Google though, a 45 mn conference during which Marie Kondo presents the basis of her tidying method.<br />
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This is a very practical approach to editing and organizing stuff, but I like her concept of “spark joy”, or how we choose what to keep based on whether the object sparks joy in our life.<br />
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<b>On TEDx | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Pb-hjqdjbY" target="_blank">Is your stuff stopping you ?</a>, Elizabeth Dulemba </b><br />
This is the journey of a woman who decided to sell all of her stuff to live abroad. But it’s much more than that. It’s a story about focusing on what really matters, what we really care about (hint : that is not stuff we really care about).<br />
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Many aspects of simplicity are explained clearly in this talk. This video is a good way to get familiar with all this, or a good reminder of why we pursue a simple life.<br />
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<b>On TEDx | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF72px2R3Hg" target="_blank">Why I live a zero waste life</a>, Lauren Singer </b><br />
This is a TEDx talk about a young woman who decided to lead a zero waste life and started a company that produces natural cleaning products. I find her talk to be a great way to get familiar with the concept of zero waste, as well as understanding the benefits of leading a life aligned with our values.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I hope these videos inspire you as much as they inspired me lately. I have quite a few articles under my belt to develop some of the topics broached in these videos. You'll find them under the label "<a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/search/label/Stuff" target="_blank">Stuff</a>", for everything related to minimalism, how to consume better and the role of material objects in a simple life. </i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-77409455309244577232016-08-18T20:24:00.000+02:002016-08-18T20:24:03.583+02:00On Finding Yourself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCFVCsS-235OGqkNbKtd4lscJHs44HmytMu71whClacZlLNbvxEt4pnDRrB-wH_8mXD0DPGUHcU3UagKxKu871od1ceM1ezt1UwUzHcNV7jabkNndMmCQ0z5UvqjBk8vHLBCUfjL00nZA/s1600/shinjuku-gyoen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCFVCsS-235OGqkNbKtd4lscJHs44HmytMu71whClacZlLNbvxEt4pnDRrB-wH_8mXD0DPGUHcU3UagKxKu871od1ceM1ezt1UwUzHcNV7jabkNndMmCQ0z5UvqjBk8vHLBCUfjL00nZA/s640/shinjuku-gyoen.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“Don't get lost. Give it a try. Go find the place that you're wishing for.” </blockquote>
<div style="text-align: right;">
— Natsuki Takaya </div>
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One thing I have discovered with the journey toward simplicity, is that removing clutter uncovers the essential. It was sometimes long buried and forgotten below layers of convention, musts and social pressure.<br />
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Have you ever asked yourself whether your life choices are actually, deeply yours? Is this really what you personally want, or have you been steered into some direction by the influence of your environment, may it be society, family, education, social pressure? Is it even possible for a life choice to be entirely ours, when the environment we’ve grown in has shaped us?<br />
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Simplicity isn’t only about removing physical clutter. It is also about removing mental disturbances. Ever since I started this journey, I have slowly veered away from time consuming material pursuits, mindless Internet browsing and I have almost completely stopped watching television.<br />
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Time is precious, it turns out, perhaps more than money, and these years of simplification have had a serious impact of how I spend mine. I’m playing music again, writing fiction, spending more time with friends and consume carefully chosen information.<br />
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However, an unexpected side effect of removing all this mental clutter and focusing on what matters to me is that I have found myself. After remembering the hobbies I used to like, I have started remembering what I wanted to do with my life. Teaching, for example. And I have started remembering what I didn’t want to do with my life. Selling my time and skills to a big company for no other purpose than salary, for example.<br />
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Is this the infamous “thirty year old crisis”, that I’ve been questioning my career path lately? It is certainly a consequence of life simplification. Simplicity helps me finding myself, remembering my hopes and dreams. My own priorities, not those dictated by others.
I’m not sure where I wanted to go with this post, perhaps I want to tell you that finding yourself is one of the most important goals to have in one’s life.<br />
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Because we only have one life, because lost time can never be reclaimed.
We all have constraints and needs, but we also have choices, and I’ve come to believe that the single most important thing in life is to live it by your own rules, be true to yourself. But that’s only possible when you find yourself first, isn’t it?
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-17173678236999163742016-08-10T16:25:00.000+02:002016-08-10T16:25:39.167+02:00Blog | A refresh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQorCwmuezuakI4t80YzE4jH5pjJWirBmsAGW5QWLjplR7Sx7n4Wa4eA01WeduJgwWZvxkDoLyfZtFh2SBg2ravKHdteNfi4G4onI_TVh982_bVHPOBahwudcCUYLoOwk4MeeHfe7Iy3o/s1600/TNIF-Refresh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQorCwmuezuakI4t80YzE4jH5pjJWirBmsAGW5QWLjplR7Sx7n4Wa4eA01WeduJgwWZvxkDoLyfZtFh2SBg2ravKHdteNfi4G4onI_TVh982_bVHPOBahwudcCUYLoOwk4MeeHfe7Iy3o/s640/TNIF-Refresh.jpg" width="95%" /></a></div>
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As you may have noticed, I have slightly updated the blog’s look and feel. Articles have been more sparse lately, and there are many reasons for that, among which too much work and more energy dedicated to fiction writing (in French). However, I do enjoy writing in English and discussing with you, and I still have a lot to learn toward a simple life, so I have decided to refresh this little space and dedicate more time to posting regular updates.<br />
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<h3>
Updated Categories</h3>
Regularly, especially when my blogging motivation is strained, as it was the case for <i>the Nife</i> this year, I assess my blog as follows: if I didn’t currently have a blog, would I open a new one now? If so, what would I want to write about?<br />
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For the English blog, the answer is yes, I would have opened a new one, and it would talk about simple living. There are many aspects to simplicity I wish to write more about.<br />
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A few years ago, I was focused on stuff editing, wardrobe curating and minimalism, which is a very interesting aspect of simplicity, especially in today’s society focused on consumption. The minimalism aspect of simple living is still appealing to me, and all articles related will be tagged “<a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/search/label/Stuff" target="_blank">Stuff</a>”.<br />
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Under “<a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/search/label/Slow" target="_blank">Slow</a>”, I will explore simplicity and time. From the slow movement to enjoying the tiny joys of life, mindfulness and meditation, but also hobbies, creativity and other soul nourishing activities to replace shopping with.<br />
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With “<a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/search/label/Life" target="_blank">Life</a>”, I will explore the notion of quest for meaning, fulfillment and happiness in life. There you will find articles on positive psychology, philosophical theories around the soul and the meaning of our lives, simplicity as a whole, compassion, empathy and what makes us human.<br />
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With “<a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/search/label/Musings" target="_blank">Musings</a>”, I have a bit of a joker for anything that makes me happy to write about. It may be blog updates like this one, favourites posts showing material or cultural items I currently enjoy, the <a href="https://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2016/08/food-for-thought-17.html" target="_blank">Food for Thought</a> posts and more.<br />
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I have dispatched past posts into these categories when relevant for you to have archives to peruse, and my future articles will revolve around these themes.<br />
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<h3>
More Updates</h3>
I have updated <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/p/blog-page.html" target="_blank">the Sources page</a> with sites, blogs, YouTube channels, videos, podcasts, and books that inspired me during my journey. If you are interested in the topics mentioned above and are looking for more resources to dig deeper into the subject, don’t hesitate to check out the sources page.<br />
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As you may have noticed, the blog title has changed as well. It was inspired by the name of my former tumblr page: <i>Dream On</i>. As the blog is no longer a simple translation of my French journal <a href="http://www.lanifeenlair.com/" target="_blank">La Nife en l’Air</a>, I thought it might be best to rename it to something easier to spell and remember for non-French speakers.<br />
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<h3>
What's Next?</h3>
Of course, I can’t promise anything for certain, but I do plan to post more regularly from now on. The goal is to produce at least weekly articles, but it may be more or less depending on the adventures of my daily life.<br />
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If there are specific topics you’d like to read more about, please don’t hesitate to let me know via the comments or <a href="https://twitter.com/lanifeenlair" target="_blank">on twitter</a>.
Perhaps one day I’ll get my own domain and wordpress blog – as I did with the French blog (although I’m not actually using wordpress for that). But let’s see first how this refreshed <i>Dream On</i> works out for me and for you guys!
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-11796357493351268322016-08-04T12:28:00.000+02:002016-08-10T14:20:24.310+02:00Food For Thought | #17<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXP2Zyi5CWbk6M0fe-q7vNI5tqUnMIB4Az_JLXd-bZ4sHQzXfkuRF-K25a8OHD8Cv9OiJ-Bw3-5xurGQRfn9MyZUEW5g3xMqVRfAQ3SeeBqFPAVnH8Z3eSsHSrGtHcusalxbNEq8sIVnc/s1600/Hakone-pont.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXP2Zyi5CWbk6M0fe-q7vNI5tqUnMIB4Az_JLXd-bZ4sHQzXfkuRF-K25a8OHD8Cv9OiJ-Bw3-5xurGQRfn9MyZUEW5g3xMqVRfAQ3SeeBqFPAVnH8Z3eSsHSrGtHcusalxbNEq8sIVnc/s640/Hakone-pont.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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It has been a while since I shared some <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2015/11/food-for-thought-16.html" target="_blank">food for thought</a> with you. Time passes and life is transformed through imperceptible daily changes. With this evolution comes a new approach to writing and sharing thoughts. While I think of ways to adapt this blogging space to who I am becoming, I have a few reads to share with you. I hope you'll like them as much as I did.<br />
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<b>On Aeon | <a href="https://aeon.co/videos/why-we-need-to-move-empathy-from-personal-emotion-to-collective-moral-concern" target="_blank">Why we need to move empathy from personal emotion to collective moral concern</a></b><br />
Empathy is a topic I've been thinking a lot about these days. I have heard some months ago, that a friend was told she had "too much empathy" to be a manager. Is that even possible? Shouldn't empathy be at the heart of managing a team of human beings?<br />
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Anyway, it isn't what this article/video is about. It is about the power of empathy, and how it can really change a society when empathy becomes a collective movement. I think empathy is one of most important, and most underrated quality in today's society.<br />
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<b>On Medium | <a href="https://betterhumans.coach.me/how-to-practice-gratitude-4-secrets-backed-by-research-e5442763e846#.qrqhg1pgd" target="_blank">How to practice Gratitude</a></b><br />
Gratitude is one of the most efficient ways to change our perspective on life and improve well-being, happiness and much more. In this complete article, the author reminds why and how gratitude can change our lives, along with 4 exercises to wire our brains toward more gratitude, backed by scientific research.<br />
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I will most probably write about gratitude again in the future, as I believe it is one of the keys to enjoying the present moment, see the good side of life and cultivate a dose of mental strength to face the ups and downs of life.<br />
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<b>On Brain Pickings | <a href="https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/07/26/henry-beston-northern-farm-smallness/" target="_blank">Henry Beston on happiness, simplicity and the sacredness of smallness</a></b><br />
Why would bigger always be better? Why always strive for more? Even the smallest things can touch our hearts. In a society where we are taught to accumulate objects and strive for bigger everything (salary, house, car...) this is a true and touching reminder that life isn't all about size, volume and quantity.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Have you read or watched anything that made you pause and think lately?</i></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-80139891723430671672016-07-08T13:00:00.000+02:002016-08-10T15:33:59.413+02:00Technology and contemplation<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6NIg9mnv_DCOfe1OWp7Bq1soUfEthmBHxdNMcTMqx70UFTOw74USBRRWlfXuObGPd8f-jMjrPkMScOvS9kBg-4pI4ORCBj8tgPOIlsM7y690bwSyDcgErxP6UevNPr1eAo13a8nSKTV4/s1600/TNIF_Contemplation-img.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6NIg9mnv_DCOfe1OWp7Bq1soUfEthmBHxdNMcTMqx70UFTOw74USBRRWlfXuObGPd8f-jMjrPkMScOvS9kBg-4pI4ORCBj8tgPOIlsM7y690bwSyDcgErxP6UevNPr1eAo13a8nSKTV4/s640/TNIF_Contemplation-img.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hakone | Japan 2016.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
While I’m still rummaging around the many photos I took in Japan, there is a topic I’d like to share today, a thought I had during my vacation. Is technology a disruption to contemplation?
Two weeks across the globe, especially in a country like Japan, calls for contemplation. As the cherry blossoms started fading away, we discovered incredible landscapes, impressive temples and the beauty of big cities, their tall buildings and neons.<br />
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<h3>
Disruptive technologies</h3>
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But we had a pocket wifi, this great invention that allowed us to be always connected to the Internet without tasting the awfully expensive roaming data plans of our mobile companies. I mainly used the wifi to publish at least one picture on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kalygolo/" target="_blank">Instagram</a> every day, to share the journey and its incredible discoveries.<br />
<br />
But I also started receiving e-mails. Some were great, like the first ever acceptance e-mail from a publisher for one of my short stories. Others reminded me of the every day life I left behind when I travelled to Japan. The one I was precisely intending to take a break from for two weeks.<br />
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And pocket wifi isn’t the only technology that disrupts contemplation. Cameras. For this amazing journey, I brought my big DSLR, the one full of options to adjust before taking a proper picture. After two days, I felt I was living my vacation through my camera more than through my own eyes. Can the obsession of a perfect picture spoil the beauty of the moment?<br />
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<h3>
Simplify travel</h3>
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Technologies are useful. I was happy to have the pocket wifi and share great moments of my travels though Instagram. I was happy to get my acceptance e-mail for the short story and to gather many pictures that I will share with my family (and with you! It will come).<br />
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But that’s one of the aspects where simplicity can be a savior, to keep technology from taking too much space and disrupting the magic of the moment.<br />
<br />
After two days, I decided to remove the push notifications from e-mails on my phone and consult them only once a day. I’d limit Instagram visits to once to twice a day, while we were waiting for our food, and limit the number of pictures I’d take before I’d put the camera down and enjoy the moment.<br />
<br />
These are simple actions, but I felt like I enjoyed the rest of my trip much more. I was attentive to the little details of the streets, city and landscapes. My senses were ready to take in that entire unknown I was surrounded by, I was available to talk with my friends and share our awe.<br />
<br />
To me, simplicity isn’t about going back to the Stone Age or diabolizing all technology and comfort of modern society. It’s about balance and moderation. It’s about taking the best of modern life while not letting it invade the joy of the moment. We all have our own perfect balance. Some will leave e-mail and Internet at home when they travel, others will enjoy sharing every moment via social media. The importance is for you to find your own sweet spot and reach that balance to make the most of life.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-70909279297847754812016-06-10T17:43:00.001+02:002016-08-10T14:19:15.651+02:00Do it for yourself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTPx9khzQX0VzqcrJgRmOQm13DqPThMzTP8aW_QZzgYHfWy1rZn69VQlhc5pNUpQmDY8UI70AnczCdHkbJEuKGQwDq2tjMUmjJzpzcceQuLYDTq6Hx_1QpIUN54FJBsuo2FMRuqTsQymQ/s1600/muguet.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTPx9khzQX0VzqcrJgRmOQm13DqPThMzTP8aW_QZzgYHfWy1rZn69VQlhc5pNUpQmDY8UI70AnczCdHkbJEuKGQwDq2tjMUmjJzpzcceQuLYDTq6Hx_1QpIUN54FJBsuo2FMRuqTsQymQ/s640/muguet.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It is this time of the year, when April begins and all of a sudden, we are in June. As I'm off for some weeks of hectic work, I thought I might leave a word here before I go to E3. After my note on <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2016/03/toxic-cosmetics.html" target="_blank">toxic cosmetics</a>, I decided to think a bit more about what place little material luxuries of life have in my version of simplicity.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
One of the main myths about simplicity is that it leads to an ascetic and boring life as we move away from all the fun of buying new things and enjoying little material pleasures now and then. I guess my writing about how I stopped wearing make-up might not help.<br />
<br />
So I figured I might present how I approach these little, more superficial pleasures of life. Because no, I am not wearing white linen every day, nor did I shave my head or sell off all my electronics.<br />
<h3>
<br />It isn't the what, it is the why</h3>
In my version of simplicity, no object and no activity or interest are "banned". The <i>what</i> isn't the problem. Make-up never was my thing so I dropped it, but it doesn't mean you have to do the same. I still paint my nails for example, and there are other areas I enjoy playing with, like jewellery or scarves (I have a whole towel holder full of scarves).<br />
<br />
I guess my point is, simplicity is not about demonizing any activity, it is about asking yourself why you are donig it. Going shopping isn't the problem, but why are you buying this item right now? Wearing make-up isn't the problem, but why are you doing it? Is it because you enjoy testing new colors and styles, for your own pleasure, or is it to meet a certain standard of society or hide what you think is ugly about your face?<br />
<h3>
<br />Do it for yourself</h3>
When it comes to topics like body care or looks, my vision now is to do it for myself. That's why I no longer wear uncomfortable shoes or clothes, no matter how much taller and leaner they make me look. Because looking taller and leaner isn't for myself, it is to meet some external standard. I do treat myself occasionally with soft wool or luxurious silk, because it makes me feel good and the touch on the skin is incredible. That's for myself.<br />
<br />
I was watching an episode of the series Miss Fisher's murder mysteries the other day. She's a detective in Australia in the 1920s, and that particular episode was about a murder in a beauty salon where miss Fisher orders her clothes. The character is always very elegant, sophisticated and feminine. But she does it for herself, not to please anyone else. As her maid tries to find a piece of clothing that suits her, and gets depressed because her love interest doesn't notice her new suit, miss Fisher tells her: you don't get dressed for any man. You do it for yourself, for the touch of the silk on your skin, for the way you feel when you're wearing this.<br />
<br />
That's exactly how I came to think about my own approach to style, but also everything else: home decorations, a good book, a soft leather wallet... Any item should be bought and used for yourself, because it satisfies you, first and foremost.<br />
<br />
That's not to say simplicity is being selfish. On the contrary, once you feel better about yourself, you have more time and energy to turn to others, buy them stuff why not, but also be there for them, be an attentive listener and much more. However, I don't think we should feel guilty to indulge once in a while. As long as we do it for ourselves, and not to meet external expectations which will never be satisfied.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Image: unrelated picture of my own terrasse's first flowers, late April. Yes, I'm late :)</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-35589670888614688242016-04-10T09:00:00.000+02:002016-08-10T14:17:58.778+02:00Travel & Gratitude<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmGfSBOShuetq2UoupxGTEH8R5C1HuWVDYEqyswLMy3gVo20m5Zpo0-RRR8iRt0ldM35dXZzs42H7hBjZrdwKJUAdTbLETu6p4GlzngGo79DQCb6JFcLsz5zlgxeQTHI8dt_F3rkbXoFlF/s1600/train+JP.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmGfSBOShuetq2UoupxGTEH8R5C1HuWVDYEqyswLMy3gVo20m5Zpo0-RRR8iRt0ldM35dXZzs42H7hBjZrdwKJUAdTbLETu6p4GlzngGo79DQCb6JFcLsz5zlgxeQTHI8dt_F3rkbXoFlF/s640/train+JP.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The last train in Tokyo, December 2006.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
A thousand years ago, Europeans didn't know the American continent existed. A few hundred years ago, it took years for a traveler to go across the world. By the end of the 19th century, traveling around the world in 80 days was a fiction-worthy exploit. And now? Now, we can travel through continents in less than 24 hours. Isn't that awesome? What if we could see the world with the marveled eyes of a child? Or a time traveler?<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Today, people make faces and complain in airports. Too much queue. I have to go through customs, open my bags, find a way to put all the electronics and toiletries back in. Too much wait at the airport. Not enough room on the plane. But do we ever stop to realize we climb inside iron machines to travel across the world in mere hours?<br />
<br />
When I first flew for work 5 years ago - a press tour in Dubai, no less - I wondered if I'd ever get used to it. The thrill of watching the plane take off from the windows, my ears buzzing, my heart leaping, the airport, cars and houses becoming smaller and smaller. Sitting 36.000 feet up in the air. Watching the clouds from above...<br />
<br />
What would a time traveler from the middle ages think of this? (He'd probably try to burn me for sorcery for a thousand reasons, but still, traveling in the sky!)<br />
<br />
Anyway, it's 2016, I've traveled dozens of times since my very first press tour, and never got tired of the miracle of flights. I'll confess, sometimes, I think about it when I'm in the lavatory. This little action I need to do every day, I'm doing it 36.000 feet in the sky! I'm watching a movie in the sky!<br />
<br />
Sometimes it makes me sad, because being able to fly around the world is a privilege. Entire families die trying to come over to Europe from conflict zones. But it also makes me even more appreciative of all these little things we are lucky to have without ever thinking about it.<br />
<br />
Instead of focusing on what to buy next, how about we feel grateful for the little miracles of our daily lives? (Did I mention that we have clean water available in our homes? Electricity? Internet? I could speak about the miracle of Internet for hours)<br />
<br />
Anyway. I'm flying to Japan in a few hours for a two-week holidays. And I'm as excited as I was the first time I hopped on a plane. This is a little victory of life appreciation and gratitude.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-59938410628934849472016-03-24T17:20:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:16:06.125+02:00Toxic Cosmetics<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVtJ73W7UzEvurhuXeISG9qGvNRttzve1xQSKx2tf5UFsdFCXvXKO5yECOoQwHM1_DHrCdCFV55k9UGqkHhQo7fm4-p6lYAWlD1qbdzRW1GOfJKM2SKgL-ltFNYQWIm4f4Tzgzq8lbQXDG/s1600/hotel-beauty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVtJ73W7UzEvurhuXeISG9qGvNRttzve1xQSKx2tf5UFsdFCXvXKO5yECOoQwHM1_DHrCdCFV55k9UGqkHhQo7fm4-p6lYAWlD1qbdzRW1GOfJKM2SKgL-ltFNYQWIm4f4Tzgzq8lbQXDG/s320/hotel-beauty.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">source: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kalygolo/" target="_blank">instagram</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Last month, the French independant pro-consumer media <a href="http://www.quechoisir.org/" target="_blank">Que Choisir</a> has published an independent study about the cosmetics on sale on the market. They found toxic, allergenic or downright dangerous ingredients in 185 different products. After all this turning 30 reflection on how I feel about ageing, I thought it was as good a news as another to talk about appearance, cosmetics and the role of looks in society (and our happiness).<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
In <a href="http://www.quechoisir.org/sante-bien-etre/hygiene-beaute/communique-substances-preoccupantes-dans-185-produits-cosmetiques-les-consommateurs-appeles-a-passer-a-l-action" target="_blank">this article</a> (in French), Que Choisir explains that 185 cosmetics contain ingredients potentially dangerous for health: causing allergies, messing with hormones, irritating for the skin and more. This includes all kinds of cosmetics, from shampoos to deodorants, including baby stuff, and all kinds of brands from the supermarket's own chains to high end cosmetics.<br />
<br />
This made me evaluate how many cometics I use. Even as I simplified my routine, there are quite a few bottles on my bathroom shelves. If you take the average bathroom shelf of a woman today, it is quite daunting to see how many consmetics we use every day. And for what? To clean our body, yes, but also to look younger, healthier, more attractive, thinner, etc.<br />
<br />
When you think about it, we devote a lot of energy to our looks. From the choice of clothing and "uniforms" to make-up routine, it seems to be very important to most of us to carefully study our looks. Why? Why is it so important?<br />
<br />
Think about it, we spend time, energy and money on items that have no other purpose than to affect the way we look. We cover our faces and bodies with toxic products in the hope to look closer to the social standard of beauty. As women, it's even worse, as we need to diet and exercise to remove the natural shape of our bodies to look as thin as possible.<br />
<br />
<b>Does any of this really matter?</b><br />
<br />
It's been five years since I started simplifying my life now. Ironically, it all started with looks. The image I was projecting of myself through my looks didn't match with who I thought I was inside.<br />
<h3>
<br />The simplicity journey: looks</h3>
I thought myself as an intelligent and curious individual, interested by literature, music and video games, happy to broach philosophical subjects and question life and the world.<br />
<br />
My looks - studied uniforms of skirt or pants with tailored shirts, long hair, lots of make-up & jewellery and high heels, projected the image of a posh city girl unable to lift boxes at PR events and more interested in the latest issue of Cosmopolitan than Umberto Eco's theories about translation and languages.<br />
<br />
I could say a lot about how prejudiced women are according to their looks, but that's not today's topic.<br />
I started my simplicity journey questioning my looks and why they were so much at odds with the way I saw myself inside. Hence I started a huge wardrobe editing and style searching process --> <i>what outfits should I wear to look the way I am inside?</i><br />
<h3>
<br />From looks to soul searching</h3>
If you have been following this blog of a while (or perused the archives when you discovered the Nife), you have probably realized how this simplicity journey evolved from this looks starting point.<br />
<br />
Little by little, I got less interested in how to express my identity through how I look, and more interested in what that identity is, and how my actions (rather than looks) reflect who I want to be. I started with questions like: "can I really call myself a minimalist if I own less than 50 items of clothing but replace half of them every year? " "I want to be seen as interesting and curious about the things of life, but Monsieur says i'm talking about clothes all the time, is that really the kind of conversations I want to have?"<br />
<br />
Thus, wardrobe editing and luxurious minimalist designs have been replaced by TED talks, personality tests, psychology MOOCs and soul-searching week-ends of meditation and dragon slaughter on the PS4.<br />
<h3>
<br />Simplicity and looks now</h3>
I found so many things through all this journey. Yes, I found that oxfords are my favourite type of shoes, that I prefer warm colors over cold ones, that I like black pairs of pants best and that jewellery with mineral stones make me happy.<br />
But I also realized that none of this defines who I am. This is what I learned these past 5 years:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>There will always be people prejudiced about who I am based on how I look. Sometimes simply because I am a woman.</li>
<li>What I <b>do</b> matters more than how I look in the way I see myself. If I want to feel in harmony with who I am inside, what I spend my time on matters more than what outfit I choose to wear in the morning</li>
<li>We <i>do</i> spend an awful lot of time and money on looks. And simplifying wardrobes doesn't improve any of this if I end up spending time on wishlists, donation bags and planning expensive purchases.</li>
<li>There are so many things I'd rather be doing with my time and money. Even if it means my looks are less 'perfect', less in line with what society expects of a woman.</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This article about toxic cosmetics reminded me how much all of us sacrifice for looks. The simple pleasures of food when we diet to lose some weight that has all natural right to sit on our hips and bottom. Our health as we use toxic cosmetics daily on our skin. Our self esteem as we beat ourselves about not looking the way we'd like. Our time, money and energy.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A few months ago, I have realized that if I don't put make-up on in the morning, I have 10 extra minutes to write fiction. I have thought about what matters to me, what I want to leave behind. I have stopped wearing make-up.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Well, this article turned out more philosophical than initially intended. Sometimes, I realize just how much I have progressed in my own journey when I write these blog posts. How do you guys feel about all this? Did your simplicity journey change the way to see your own body? Did it change the importance of looks in your life?</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-54272389921138362832016-03-10T09:20:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:14:13.826+02:00Getting Older<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3OVGuAtx3BUgy4lco_oxCO3R6jwAGzKsaGN160zTRNIyBFFdnI4k1CD61U6Zxc9qWNppPM-4Xa6hYmfQ9Xe-YJgu_2uzZ9EPoolaLASZZftIewPrBBka7rCkM6Wie882beQk7QZqhhBA/s1600/papillon-marutibitamin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="470" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3OVGuAtx3BUgy4lco_oxCO3R6jwAGzKsaGN160zTRNIyBFFdnI4k1CD61U6Zxc9qWNppPM-4Xa6hYmfQ9Xe-YJgu_2uzZ9EPoolaLASZZftIewPrBBka7rCkM6Wie882beQk7QZqhhBA/s640/papillon-marutibitamin.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">source: <a href="http://maruti-bitamin.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Maruti Bitamin</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
As the big 30 approached for me these past few weeks, there have been much discussions with friends, family and colleagues about this symbolic turn of age. Naturally, this lead to the invariable fear of old age we all bear in our hearts. Now that I am turning 30 today, here are a few thoughts about how it feels to get older.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Being no longer young is a notion we acquire over time, somewhere during the 20s. At least, that was the case for me, as the bank closed my "young-savings account" at 25, when the train company shut down my "young reductions", when I started earning money, paying rent and taxes.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Getting older and uglier</h3>
But as my thirtieth birthday approached, I realized how "getting older" was linked to physical appearance to so many people. "You're going to have to be more careful with the food now as pounds don't shed that easily anymore" "you'll see that you'll dye your hair like everyone else once your white hair show" "enjoy the fact that you can go out without makeup while you still can".<br />
<br />
It seems this ancient fear of getting older, initially linked to our mortality, has cristallized over our looks in today's society. Getting older means no longer being young, thin and wrinkle-free. As my boss turned 40, exactly the same discussions surfaced, a decade later. Why is our society so afraid of the natural aging of our body? Why does it matter so much to look young and thin? We aren't merchandise now are we?<br />
<br />
<h3>
What 30 means to me</h3>
Curisously, as I woke up this morning at the start of my thirties, my first thought was about everything but my looks. I thought about the career path I've chosen for myself, my masters degree and six years of experience in communications. I thought about my fiancé, who is probably the father of my children to come. I thought about what I accomplished so far and the projects ahead.<br />
<br />
I have this fear of getting older like everyone else. I don't know if this is linked to the path of simplicity I've been following these past five years, but this doesn't cristallize in a fear of white hair and wrinkles. Rather, I sometimes wonder if I made the right life choices.<br />
<br />
As Meg Jay says in <a href="http://megjay.com/the-defining-decade/" target="_blank">The Defining Decade</a>, we make a lot of determining choices in our twenties. Studies, career, life experiences that are no longer possible as we get older and have more responsibilities, a life partner and more.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Life as a tree of choices </h3>
If life is a tree, childhood is the trunk. You are at the beginning, where all branches start and any of them is an option. At 20, you arrive at the top of the trunk, it's time to choose some branches over others. At 30, you're already quite engaged in the branch you chose, for career and personal life. There are all these choices you didn't make, all these options that are already behind you.<br />
<br />
And to be honest, if there is one thing I fear as I turn 30, is to have missed a turn, let an opportunity go. Maybe that's why I started playing the violin again two years ago and writing fiction again eight months ago. Because these are branches I care about and I realized my twenties, full of studies and getting a job, made me neglect these things that matter so much to me.<br />
<br />
Of course, 30 is still young, there are still many branches waiting ahead of my life tree. But I guess this is a symbolic age nowadays. The age when you are adult for real. Where life choices matter. Now more than ever, it is important to know if the branch you are standing on is the one that matters to you.<br />
<br />
Writing matters to me. My talents in digital communication matter to me. My fiancé and our future family matter to me. Playing the violin and collecting minerals and traveling the world matter to me. Choosing the perfect anti-aging fundation to hide my wrinkles and the ideal dye to hide my white hair? Not so important to me.<br />
<br />
As a conclusion, here are some lessons I learned as I leave the defining decade:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Accept your emotions without judgment</li>
<li>It is natural to feel down sometimes, a happy life isn't constant joy and pleasure</li>
<li>People pay much less attention to us than we think - they are usually too busy wondering what we think of them</li>
<li>Everybody has moments of doubt</li>
<li>Our life choices are influenced by our environment in a much bigger way than we think</li>
<li>Making mistakes is a way to learn and improve</li>
<li>Worring about looks is a waste of time that leads to nothing. If we are lucky enough, we'll all end up looking like this anyway: </li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9fs94TVnAAzt-OLoAGNxwVWXLl9Ki0HRi2ryhfBZ6v_fMql_dUxQSlmiOo7fsalCvRx5dsg2922CmddRqgETgc_XV1iUQfwZRPT1JVOQNoU1BZESbDGHLsF2l4Zcsplpxgfd2CfPXzII/s1600/Yoda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9fs94TVnAAzt-OLoAGNxwVWXLl9Ki0HRi2ryhfBZ6v_fMql_dUxQSlmiOo7fsalCvRx5dsg2922CmddRqgETgc_XV1iUQfwZRPT1JVOQNoU1BZESbDGHLsF2l4Zcsplpxgfd2CfPXzII/s400/Yoda.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-27310365977127991372016-02-05T11:14:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:12:16.037+02:00Know your weaknesses<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbINeG7tk4hrhHeLqRNjzdS7Xj0MH1UB9JvIpZIasnP9HI5xMj_ANgq4GjJaK6mUaQKS7BuKzDVPrNkX9crKJ7R1VGbJvDnfpE_YXPzVcf0gf9tBMcjHEAK72p3aaFjXuWiqxO4KtBEwU/s1600/simple-interior.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbINeG7tk4hrhHeLqRNjzdS7Xj0MH1UB9JvIpZIasnP9HI5xMj_ANgq4GjJaK6mUaQKS7BuKzDVPrNkX9crKJ7R1VGbJvDnfpE_YXPzVcf0gf9tBMcjHEAK72p3aaFjXuWiqxO4KtBEwU/s640/simple-interior.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://kevc.tumblr.com/post/136774316769" target="_blank">tumblr</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
As I started simplifying my life and engage in <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2014/06/shopping-fast2.html" target="_blank">various experiments</a>, I have tried to learn from my mistakes and noticed some patterns about myself. Over time, I also noticed how knowing about these weaknesses helped getting better by avoiding them.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Let's take an example: impulse purchases. Thanks to <a href="http://touniversewithlove.com/" target="_blank">Archana</a>, I have read <a href="http://sustainabilityinstyle.com/shop-your-feelings/" target="_blank">this article </a>about emotional shopping. Katie lists four types of impulse purchases:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<ol>
<li><i>1. Pure impulse buying</i> is a novelty or escape purchase which breaks normal buying patterns. </li>
<li><i>2. Reminder impulse buying</i> occurs when a shopper sees an item or recalls an advertisement or other information and remembers that the stock at home is low or exhausted. </li>
<li><i>3. Suggestion impulse buying</i> is triggered when a shopper sees a product for the first time and visualises a need for it. </li>
<li><i>4. Planned impulse buying</i> takes place when a shopper makes specific purchasing decisions on the basis of price specials, coupon offers, and so forth.
</li>
</ol>
</blockquote>
<br />
She also mentions to figure out which type of impulse buying we tend to fall most often for in order to be wary in the future. That's what I mean with "know your weaknesses".<br />
<br />
<h3>
A concrete example explained: my weakness </h3>
For example, I believe my tendency goes toward the number 3. I find it to be an unwanted side effect of the work I've been doing over these past years to carve out my definition of what an "adequate" item is. Basically, I have learned to identify items which could best suit my daily needs, lifestyle constraints, budget and ethical considerations.<br />
<br />
The problem with this is that I have become weak to <i>suggestion impulse buying</i>: when I browse a store and see an adequate item (may it be clothing, accessory, home decor, kitchen tool, books and other cultural items...), I feel the urge to buy it. Why? Because now that I know my "adequacy", I know I'd make a good use of this particular item, and I don't know whether I'll find another adequate item of the same type when I'll need it in the future. I want to seize the opportunity.<br />
<br />
Knowing this weakness is a first step to counter-balancing it. To take this same example above, now I know that I am weak to suggestion impulse buying, I should avoid browsing a store without a specific goal and list in mind, as it is discovering a new adequate item that will make me want to buy it. So, unsubscribing to newsletters, limiting online browsing and visiting stores should help.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Figure out your weaknesses</h3>
Impulse purchases is an example, but there are many other types of weaknesses you can find out about. Here are some leads:<br />
<ul>
<li>What emotional state were you in last time you shopped more than you should have? Were you frustrated? Sad? Preparing for a date? To impress a family member or friend you hadn't seen in a while? etc.</li>
<li>What criteria makes you fall for a particular item? Perhaps you can look into purchase mistakes to figure out a weakness. Is it color? Fabric? A particular brand? Is it shopping with friends? Being too shy to say no to the sales attendant?</li>
<li>After what kind of purchase or situation do you tend to feel bad about yourself? Shopping itself isn't the problem, the reasons behind it can reveal a weakness. If you feel bad after a purchase, maybe it is because you purchased it for bad reasons (in your opinion at least, otherwise you wouldn't feel bad)</li>
</ul>
<br />
As an illustration, I know that one of my main weaknesses is color. It sounds trivial but I made a lot of impulse buys and purchase mistakes out of this. Whether it is for clothing and accessories, home decor, stationery... When I really like the color of an item, I tend to overlook other flaws and end up with a top which cut really doesn't fit my body, for example.<br />
<br />
This is something I have found out some years ago, and I have been able to learn from it. I sometimes fall for the color trap still, but at least these aren't purchase mistakes anymore, I make sure those impulse buys are adequate, and that I can have a good use of it.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Weaknesses don't disappear</h3>
Just like following a path of simplicity doesn't make desires disappear (at least, not unless you engage in years of inner work, I'd guess there are some monks free of desire out there), knowing about your weaknesses don't make them magically disappear.<br />
<br />
For example, I love this taupe/sand color for spring, especially on a fabric like suede. I remember impulse-buying a pair of heeled shoes and a large matching bag in these colors at the <i>Minelli</i> shoe store at least seven years ago. The bag ended up being too large, and not safe enough (there wasn't any zip and it was so big people could steal from it easily, plus it was too bulky for my short frame). The shoes ended up being one size too big, but they were the only ones left on sale.<br />
<br />
I still wore these two items together for a few years as I hate feeling like I wasted money, but ultimately, both items were donated in 2011 when I first edited my wardrobe. Why am I giving you this example? Because I just purchased a bag, and a pair of oxfords, in exactly that color, in suede just like the Minelli items seven years ago.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqJTADS33lBggO_oeKOWwtFrZmKr3XhCqTD3auE-PaskifOlDxH2jXiz7JhHlsllHEszgxSOIoYDVI9ZcICcH7M6W9R1fRVIuWxWeElNqlfsm89fMp5wGZ3QM3GfCHnaYF0Q0iJCu88b0/s1600/IMG_2305.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqJTADS33lBggO_oeKOWwtFrZmKr3XhCqTD3auE-PaskifOlDxH2jXiz7JhHlsllHEszgxSOIoYDVI9ZcICcH7M6W9R1fRVIuWxWeElNqlfsm89fMp5wGZ3QM3GfCHnaYF0Q0iJCu88b0/s320/IMG_2305.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Personal picture</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Only time will tell how long I will keep these new items, but so far they are more than satisfactory. The color weakness still lead to impulse purchase, but at least they are adequate this time (so far).<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I guess the point here is: don't be too hard on yourself. Remember knowing about weaknesses doesn't make them disappear. But learn from them, get better at avoiding them. This is also a part of the simplicity journey. What are your weaknesses, how have you been dealing with them so far?</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-52868464782054798182016-01-31T09:57:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:10:57.642+02:00Do Your Best<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg447j4BPqs4EI4t4lrJcIKx-wBFAu2afLr3OM-KatDqa1K9woC48vYm5PRwrDEZwQWpD_Gp-ZEvH2smACtl07P8KH4nQfvsqsMIhfkSKNLijyFUMfiBHAMZ0p_zjXYwLmMLxuDiuW3Fjw/s1600/dog-window.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg447j4BPqs4EI4t4lrJcIKx-wBFAu2afLr3OM-KatDqa1K9woC48vYm5PRwrDEZwQWpD_Gp-ZEvH2smACtl07P8KH4nQfvsqsMIhfkSKNLijyFUMfiBHAMZ0p_zjXYwLmMLxuDiuW3Fjw/s640/dog-window.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">source:<a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/018803130a46c56c74bc5b418ae08506/tumblr_o15r07avMF1r9164to1_540.jpg" target="_blank"> tumblr</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Like many things in life, the simplicity journey isn't a straight line, but rather a <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2014/04/the-spiral-upwards.html" target="_blank">spiral upwards</a>. There is progress, relapse, some answers and more questions. Sometimes we wonder if we are fit for this quest, if it is even possible. In these situations, the most important is to remember to do your best, whatever your best is today.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Ever since simplicity and minimalism have become a focus of many magazines, blogs and consultants, more and more of us go down that quest. Which is great! I remember when I first discovered this movement, there were a couple of big ones like <a href="http://zenhabits.net/" target="_blank">Zen Habits</a>, Dominique Loreau's book l'Art de la Simplicité, and when it comes to wardrobe simplicity, there was the spearhead Dead Fleurette and a few of her friends.<br />
<br />
Now we have dozens of blogs focused on many different aspects of simplicity, from style to slow to motherhood, many followed Leo Babauta's lead and made minimalism consulting their main activity. In France at least, a lot of magazines flourished on the topic "Simple Things", "Flow", "Happinez" (many of them seem to exist since a long time in the Netherlands too. Maybe some of you Dutch readers can confirm).<br />
<br />
And that's a great thing. Anyone who wants to start simplifying their life now has heaps of content, models, ideas to pick from and find what suits them best. However, I sometimes wonder if it doesn't put some pressure on us adventurers on this simplicity quest.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Images of perfect simplicity</h3>
I am probably unvoluntarily guilty of this myself as a simplicity blogger - more content and models also mean a lot of images from people's simple life, which may sound perfect from the outside. From Kinfolk-like tumblr, pinterest or instagram feeds to ideal Kondo-fied homes, we sometimes feel we are not doing well enough.<br />
<br />
This is natural - both to show the best of us when we talk about simplicity and to sometimes feel we fall short.<br />
<br />
I can only talk about myself here, but one of the goals of this blog is to inspire you to follow a simple path, share my own experience and maybe help you find your way. My word is only one among many, but it can be one of these ideas to pick from as you choose your own way. Even though I also share my moments of doubt, I only show a part of my life here, the part that can help you on your journey.<br />
<br />
And it is normal to feel like we are falling short sometimes too. With so many sources for inspirations, we sometimes feel we are not doing enough, not worth the label "simplicity" on our lives. And that may be discouraging.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Do Your Best</h3>
My answer to that is : do your best. This isn't my invention, "do your best" is actually the fourth Agreement of don Miguel Ruiz. The essence of it is: just keep doing your best. Sometimes it won't be much as you are swamped under the workload or personal issues and end up impulse buying an item. And sometimes, in the midst of a calm week-end, you'll have an epiphany and make fulgurant progress.<br />
<br />
This is a normal process too, and even simplicity bloggers like myself have these moments of doubt. To me, the key is to be convinced that you are doing your best. And if you aren't, then it is time to set some objectives and take action that will make you feel like you are doing your best.<br />
<br />
Sometimes it is a six month shopping fast, and sometimes it is buying 5 items on sale instead of 10. The whole point of "doing your best" is that it is personal, it depends on where you start from, what your life circumstances allow you to do today, your own possibilities and limitations.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Sometimes, self indulgence is a part of the simplicity journey, for it is so easy in this society to be hard on ourselves. Go easy, find your own tune, and do your best. You'll see that this will help you progress further than any ambitious goal that isn't in line with your life circumstances.</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-17116996993402422502016-01-17T13:06:00.001+01:002016-08-10T14:08:59.620+02:00Simple Goal Setting<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSJXL110jufzRoKtUKaoQj5Vnt8Vdc7LYrQeypvoSMIAVu-ObUHBVfFP6URoPOhuRgtWe6rypZaJ5ik3F6MAfT7We2399_Rd-lVHyyeYeiRI11Wu2-L8JLMuboSBZNM78vUwL6uYygREA/s1600/2016-goals-landscape.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSJXL110jufzRoKtUKaoQj5Vnt8Vdc7LYrQeypvoSMIAVu-ObUHBVfFP6URoPOhuRgtWe6rypZaJ5ik3F6MAfT7We2399_Rd-lVHyyeYeiRI11Wu2-L8JLMuboSBZNM78vUwL6uYygREA/s640/2016-goals-landscape.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://wongikim.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Now is the time (a few days late but it's never too late to start) for the traditional 2016 resolutions and goal setting. This year, I would like to present a short, simple way to set a few goals for the upcoming year.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
As I reviewed my 2015 goals and objectives I thought, why is it so easy to forget about these as we go about life ? Why is it so hard to keep up with goals we felt so motivated about at the beginning of the year?<br />
<br />
There are many ways to answer that question, but sometimes goals aren't simple enough. Sitting on an armchair or at a desk, daydreaming about a perfect future self and set up romantic objectives is a very entertaining way to spend an afternoon, but it doesn't always help once we get into the everyday effort that comes with the objective.<br />
<br />
So what about transforming these long-term ideal self aspirations into simple goals you can remember and follow throughout the year?<br />
<br />
<h3>
Setting simple goals</h3>
Here is my proposition for you:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>1. Define the "ideal" objective, the dreamed life part. How would this be in an ideal world?</li>
<li>2. How different is this from where you stand now? Where can you start, a first step that you can take tomorrow, this month, this year?</li>
<li>3. Turn this into a simple goal for 2016 </li>
</ul>
<br />
The ideal objective is here to dream, keep track of where we'd like to be in the future. It isn't futile as these hopes are what keep us motivated day to day. But it is easier to turn wishes and resolutions into action when there is a concrete goal coming out of all this.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Examples</h3>
Some of you work better with concrete solutions than abstract ideas, so here are some examples for you, in a variety of areas covered by <i>the Nife</i>.<br />
<br />
<h4>
Physical / Material area</h4>
<ul>
<li><u>Ideal objective</u>: Live in a simple home, clean and organized, with only items I use everyday, high quality and adequate to my needs and taste</li>
<li><u>Current situation</u>: I know my taste and preferences well so the latest objects I bought were adequate, but there is a lot to replace, and a lot to discard</li>
<li><u>Simple goal</u>: Go over and discard items once a month - per room for example, or per item type (it is always easier to evaluate the states of your possessions once you have removed the unessential)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Other simple goal ideas</b>: Have fun with your wardrobe and try new things every month with what you already own | Do a shopping fast at a critical moment of the year (right after sales for 6 months) to focus on the "own" and "discard" part of the consumption cycle | Set up a simple budget to follow each month...<br />
<h4>
</h4>
<h4>
Mental / Spiritual area</h4>
<ul>
<li><u> Ideal objective</u>: Know myself perfectly well, strengths and weaknesses alike, know what place to take in this society, understand my emotions well and be the best "me" I can be</li>
<li><u>Current situation</u>: I have outlined what matters to me (writing, violin, my couple and friends) and understand my reactions and weaknesses better and better. But I still feel time is slipping away from me, and sometimes I wonder if I spend it well.</li>
<li><u>Simple goal</u>: Set up a <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2015/12/level-up-mini-challenge-mindfulness.html" target="_blank">mindfulness habit.</a> Start with little things like 2mn a day while brushing my teeth and extend it further each month until I try to implement a meditation habit. (mindfulness is the beginning of understanding oneself better and being more aware of each passing moment to tame that feeling that time is slipping away)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Other simple goal ideas: </b>Visit an exhibit or museum or go to a concert/show once a month | Read at least one book a month (or two) | Make a "no internet" fast for a week-end and see where you spend your time... <br />
<br />
<h4>
Social Area</h4>
<ul>
<li>I<u>deal objective:</u> Make some time for my friends and family, take the time to make new acquaintances and cultivate the relationships, organize more things and do a lot of little attentions for them. Be a more active listener who can be there for my close ones.</li>
<li><u>Current situation</u>: I have little time to myself, and being an introvert I prefer to spend that time resourcing myself alone. It isn't always easy for me to make the first step to contact people, and often I am too busy being in my own head to pay more attention to people.</li>
<li><u>Simple goal</u>: Make myself go out at least once a week, either by accepting an invitation or by contacting someone myself. (ideally: set up that monthly reading club at home as I've wanted to for a year now)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Other simple goal ideas:</b> Join an association or club on a topic that matters to you | Find a charity to give either money or time to | Gather your friends or family a couple of times a year | Call one distand friend or family member each week-end...<br />
<br />
<br />
<h3>
Creative area</h3>
<ul>
<li><u>Ideal objective:</u> Focus a lot of time and energy into creative projects, have all these things in my head become real, participate in projects with other people, get new ideas, have creativity be an active part of my life</li>
<li><u>Current situation</u>: I'm getting there as a lot of 2015 was dedicated to that - I joined a book reviewers club and writers forum and keep aying violin lessons. But on all fronts I feel I'm not spending enough time on these things and projects don't move forward as fast as I'd like.</li>
<li><u>Simple goal</u>: Write at least one line every day. The first time of the day I feel like going on facebook or other social network, write a line instead.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Other simple goal ideas</b>: Focus on a specific creative project that matters to you this year | Find an association or community around the craft/art that interests you | Start a blog to talk about your creative projects and how they are coming together...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I hope this simple goal idea will be of help to you for the upcoming year. Somehow it feels less daunting to focus on such a simple goal rather than the big picture, that requires time and energy to approch. What abut your 2016 goals? What will be your focus this year? Have you set simple goals to level up this year?</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-86321229928409659412016-01-10T19:20:00.001+01:002016-08-10T14:07:28.945+02:00The Winter List<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie3T5WVVmn2sJ6v59R7NlfvrvOan4qqbXte0TYyhI_r83FvCHC_NAen7M2ldEOF0U5XqJaS4Odw5aYKm2bo5knijQdnG7dLH3opCQlnNwqqMdMFhl0smTvOwl4DG-UbyrOk6g7XHX_R28/s1600/wintersoup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie3T5WVVmn2sJ6v59R7NlfvrvOan4qqbXte0TYyhI_r83FvCHC_NAen7M2ldEOF0U5XqJaS4Odw5aYKm2bo5knijQdnG7dLH3opCQlnNwqqMdMFhl0smTvOwl4DG-UbyrOk6g7XHX_R28/s640/wintersoup.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://tworedbowls.com/2015/11/10/potato-garlic-leek-soup/" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Happy new year 2016 to all! I have a little something about goals and resolutions planned, but time is short and I'm leaving on a work trip tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I'd like to share with you a few seasonal joys, as a reminder of gratitude and appreciation, but also to contemplate tthe fleeting nature of seasons.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<ul>
<li>The smell of grilled bread & hot coffee in the early morning, when the night is still dark</li>
<li>A fresh gust of wind that smells like winter</li>
<li>Coming home to feel the tip of the nose and ears all cold</li>
<li>The long, quiet night under a warm plaid, with a hot tea and a few scented candles</li>
<li>These golden afternoons, where the sun is low and the sky bleached</li>
<li>Warming my hands around a hot cup of tea after a long walk outside</li>
<li>Spending some time in a hot pool, hammam or sauna, feeling the muscles relax</li>
<li>Testing new soup combinations</li>
<li>Life is nothing without melted cheese</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I hope you are enjoying whatever season you are in right now, don't forget to live! </i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-81767650215090470212015-12-31T14:36:00.001+01:002016-08-10T14:07:08.313+02:002015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJxrIaEgXmih3JIWkUDwdrXy2OYrHvj_dF_NF4oRT-9Xv60miDzHFicNdtbioEOB9pUk9XWNGIqg0IODnFxZRZJZ0jPINuL7gehV4_IDiKXjh9QK1yxpNyAqSDlP2sC2RMhas2sd9appw/s1600/2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJxrIaEgXmih3JIWkUDwdrXy2OYrHvj_dF_NF4oRT-9Xv60miDzHFicNdtbioEOB9pUk9XWNGIqg0IODnFxZRZJZ0jPINuL7gehV4_IDiKXjh9QK1yxpNyAqSDlP2sC2RMhas2sd9appw/s640/2015.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Many will remember 2015 as a difficult year, for many reasons. Today, I'd rather practice gratitude and remember what was good about the past twelve months. Here is a short list.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<ul>
<li>Spending time with my loved ones, in happiness and in grief</li>
<li>The travels across lands and oceans</li>
<li>Meeting new people and starting new activities</li>
<li>Finally getting serious about writing fiction, finishing a science-fiction novel</li>
<li>Joining a book reviewer's club: meeting more people and reading more books </li>
<li>Monsieur finding a job in Paris and moving into a new, bigger appartment</li>
<li>The long mornings drinking coffee under the sun</li>
<li>Lunches in terrasse and brunches with friends</li>
<li>Testing new recipes and gathering around good food</li>
<li>Finding the courage to call myself a writer </li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>How was your 2015? Happy new year!</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-47037230134303456862015-12-19T14:13:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:05:51.927+02:00Still A Consumer<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCGCBy9c7MEPF12j9fDojifDc0lgK0ZtzG_rDAuM58mQMZSv_nRtUxSe7J_bYnhwf0Rz2JX0Q37QdXJkILolimlSYZ7YCmdpciqIHJYL6huhdhyphenhyphenUDC6bBtFuTfkoAUWOAgfYZd5bmjwA/s1600/room-sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCGCBy9c7MEPF12j9fDojifDc0lgK0ZtzG_rDAuM58mQMZSv_nRtUxSe7J_bYnhwf0Rz2JX0Q37QdXJkILolimlSYZ7YCmdpciqIHJYL6huhdhyphenhyphenUDC6bBtFuTfkoAUWOAgfYZd5bmjwA/s640/room-sun.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://slanting.tumblr.com/post/132068409562" target="_blank">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Tis the season for wrap-ups, and I'd like to start with purchasing habits. One year after the end of the <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2014/06/shopping-fast2.html" target="_blank">Levelled up shopping fast </a>and almost five years after I started simplifying my life, what kind of consumer has simplicity lead me to be, and what is there to learn from my ongoing journey?<br />
<a name='more'></a><h3>
</h3>
<h3>
Still a consumer</h3>
As the title of the post suggests, the first lesson remains the fact that I'm still a consumer. I remember this discussion with a running buddy who was telling me that one of his friends is "not a consumer" because he doesn't care about brands and only buys the cheapest stuff. He is still a consumer though, I answered, the one looking for bargains.<br />
<br />
Ditto for simplicity and minimalism, it isn't about stopping any and all purchases. Unless you are a self sufficient farmer living in a family house and capable to grow, mine, transform and manufacture every single item you use, you need to buy stuff.<br />
<br />
Believing that any purchase is a "misstep" of simpliciy can only lead to insatisfaction, impossible standards, and perhaps giving up on it all. It's like wanting to eat healthy and considering any meal at all is a misstep. One can't survive very long without eating.<br />
<br />
I guess my point is that even when leading a simple life, you are still a consumer. The question is to know how your consumption habits have changed and what sort of consumer you can become.<br />
<br />
<h3>
A change in consumption habits</h3>
The second lesson from this year of "levelled up simplicity", is this: I am a different consumer. Many things changed, including how I make purchases, where, from whom, and (first and foremost) <b>why</b>.<br />
<br />
I don't think there are "good" and "bad" purchases in itself. Like <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.com/2015/11/epicurean-simplicity.html" target="_blank">Epicurus</a> said, it is about priorities, and a few "natural but unessential" needs can be met with a few adequate items, even if it's a little luxury here and there, even if it's a nice brand or a bit more expensive than usual.<br />
<br />
I guess my point here is that there are no "forbidden items" within simplicity, it is only a matter of why buy these items. For example, I have mostly given up on fast fashion for ethical reasons, but it doesn't mean, in my opinion, that any and all fast fashion items should be banned from a simple life. Same for "masstige" (mass prestige) luxury items which are much more expensive than their quality is worth.<br />
<br />
In the end, it is about<b> choosing your own rules,</b> depending on your budget, lifestyle, values and priorities. For me, the change in consumption habits is simple: I now purchase according to my own criteria, and not according to society's trends and must-haves.<br />
<br />
Of course, I am influenced by the aesethtics I'm surrounded with, and I do take various inspirations around me, this is not about being 100% original or avoiding trends on purpose. It is about finding out what is adequate for you, what are your ethics and values, your taste and preferences, what you can find locally where you live.<br />
<br />
In other words, simplicity has changed my purchasing habits by turning my criteria from external ones — you should buy this and that to be X (a proper woman, from a certain social class, elegant...) — to internal ones (I <i>want</i> to make ethical purchases, this is the style that <i>I </i>like, this is the kind of shop or craftsman I <i>want</i> to give my money to, etc.)<br />
<br />
In my own experience, simplicity made me leave the Joneses where they are with their fancy it-bags and Rolex watches, and do things the way I really like them myself.<br />
<br />
<h3>
A means to an end</h3>
Finally, the third most important lesson simplicity taught me about acquiring new items, is that it's a mean to an end, and not a goal in itself.<br />
<br />
If I want to purchase a knit, it's for the purpose to feel warm while retaining the elegance I'd like to maintain for myself. If I get a souvenir from holidays, it is to get some memories of past experiences in my home to cherish and share (and not to show off the cool places I've been to for example). Sometimes, it's just for the pleasure of the moment, like the scented candle I light when I take a bath.<br />
<br />
What I mean here, is that buying things isn't the point, using them, and the moments I will be able to enjoy thanks to them, is. Items are no more than what they are: items. They are not a surrogate for my identity or belonging to a certain social class, they are not a way to feel accepted by a group or loved.<br />
<br />
And when you realize that, you also realize there are way more interesting things to do in life than making wishlists, browsing e-shops and going shopping. In 2015, I have continued violin and started the piano again, written a sci-fi novel and a few short stories, met some new friends, joined a book reviewer's club and many more things that are so much more fun than buying things.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Find your own rules</h3>
I guess the keyword here is moderation. As it is for many things in my own life. Simplicity is not about living in a single room with no possessions at all. Nor it is about listening to the sweet marketing of minimalism and using this as a justification to buy items you don't really need.<br />
<br />
It is a middle ground. It is about knowing yourself really: what are your needs, values, constraints and priorities? What do you really want to purchase for yourself? Is that urge hiding something deeper? In that case, perhaps buying things isn't an answer.<br />
<br />
This is a long way, and I admit I am still journeying with you guys, but I feel like this simplicity path has made me more critical about items, brands, communication stunts and all, and made me more focused about what I want for myself.<br />
<br />
Among my shopping rules: making sure that I really want an item and not something else (comfort, love...) ; favoring small creators, crasftsmen and shops whenever possible ; never spend too much time looking for stuff and wait for the good occasion to show up, and many more.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>What are your shopping rules? Do you have any? How did simplicity change you as a consumer?</i></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-27880758787265744432015-12-09T11:57:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:02:42.970+02:00Level Up Mini-Challenge | Mindfulness<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI2kOGLtwkFhpmU5VCesVnTHf7hfiSGck-gbtJ01BlLT1ZVJl7uPoa-GCQIcD5ARM1YPYsT_5U2uz2E9ODIGypVK4bpHFnjZv7qmBr235rGPu6bIwxFC-rtRYHLqmtenqijiM_nHz7_Qc/s1600/bread.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI2kOGLtwkFhpmU5VCesVnTHf7hfiSGck-gbtJ01BlLT1ZVJl7uPoa-GCQIcD5ARM1YPYsT_5U2uz2E9ODIGypVK4bpHFnjZv7qmBr235rGPu6bIwxFC-rtRYHLqmtenqijiM_nHz7_Qc/s640/bread.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bella-here.tumblr.com/image/134803435997" target="_blank">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I hope December is treating you well so far. How goes that gratitude exercise? As you may have read, I wrote about how <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2015/11/why-mindfulness-is-important.html" target="_blank">mindfulness is important </a>in a previous post. Since <i>meditation </i>seems to be a scary word for many still (including myself to be honest), here is a Level up mini-challenge to exercise mindfulness in simple ways.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Mindfulness is the awareness that arises by paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally."</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: right;">
— Jon Kabat-Zinn</div>
<br />
Mindfulness is about being fully aware of what is around and inside us here and now, but without judging the situation. When we are mindful, we get out of our own mind and make the effort to see things as they are, without the filter of our own interpretations, assumptions or judgements.<br />
<br />
That's why it is so hard, really, because our minds are always at work, we are always interpreting, assuming or judging. Even the most accomplished Zen master can't be mindful all the time, and that's not the objective. However, it is possible to train the mind to improve our capacity to be in the moment.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Level Up Mini-Challenge</h3>
Here are two little mindfulness mini-challenges for you, if you are interested in starting your habit in a simple way, when a proper meditation habit is too hard to start with.<br />
<br />
<b>One - Mindful Breathing</b><br />
<ul>
<li>Identify a moment in the day where you stay idle for a while (commuting for example)</li>
<li>Every day during that moment, take two minutes to focus on your breath</li>
<li>Notice the air coming in and out of your nose, your chest rise and fall</li>
<li>No need to close your eyes or anything, you can do it anywhere</li>
<li>Examples of time to do this: under the shower, while queuing at the supermarket, while commuting, in bed just before going to sleep</li>
</ul>
<div>
Do this exercice two minutes a day for a month. This takes no extra time in your day and constitutes an efficient exercise for mindfulness.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Two - Mindful Daily Task</b></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Identify a daily chore or task that is part of your life (e.g. dish washing)</li>
<li>Every day for a week, do this chore mindfully</li>
<li>For example, feel the warmth of the water on your skin, touch the dishes and notice how different they feel under your finger depending on the fabric, listen to the water fall on the sink</li>
<li>The idea is to be non-judgemental, feel your senses and if you have thoughts about how boring it is, notice them and let them go without judging them either</li>
<li>Examples of daily tasks/chores: dish washing, cooking, brushing teeth, showering, making the bed, feeding the domestic animals or watering the plants...</li>
</ul>
</div>
<br />
Again, this exercice should take no extra time as you are using a task already in your schedule. Try it intentionally for a week and see how it makes you feel...<br />
<br />
As I felt unable to liberate some time daily for meditation, I started doing these little exercises instead, and it helps improving the brain's capacity for mindfulness. I catch myself noticing more details in my daily life, or looking upon an event without automatically jumping to conclusions. And I know I am still a beginner, so how can the world view change when mindfulness becomes a daily habit?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I hope this Level Up Mini-Challenge will inspire you, please do let me know if you'll try and how it works for you...</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-16090696255979148932015-11-30T13:55:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:01:32.630+02:00December: A Month for Gratitude<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3KsmSP4BihddB6WbCjLlpvyBasyve6f2-3DYEYugpFOQE04zS0mc9ZhH1GKL0EblbM6tblUwZiMYM02kimbfCfHqu8YmxakJWxIbtoR1BvFVT07ATiK7UUe80CqK0Xf-Z6WrgzKNzOCU/s1600/winter-tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3KsmSP4BihddB6WbCjLlpvyBasyve6f2-3DYEYugpFOQE04zS0mc9ZhH1GKL0EblbM6tblUwZiMYM02kimbfCfHqu8YmxakJWxIbtoR1BvFVT07ATiK7UUe80CqK0Xf-Z6WrgzKNzOCU/s640/winter-tree.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">source: <a href="http://simpleandrose.tumblr.com/post/133946792846/this-tree-was-so-cool-i-wanted-to-cut-off-some" target="_blank">tumblr</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Last week, the French blogger Anouchka <a href="http://biobeaubon.com/mondefigratitude-1-mois-pour-apprendre-a-pratiquer-ensemble-la-pensee-positive/" target="_blank">launched a gratitude initiative</a> for December. Under the hashtag #mondefigratitude (my gratitude challenge), she offers readers to practice gratitude for the month of December, one day at a time. I think this is an excellent idea to end 2015 on a positive note, and here is why.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<h3>
What is gratitude?</h3>
We hear so much about gratitude and being grateful, but what is it really? There are two main aspects in the concept of gratitude: feeling thankful for something that is part of our life, and recognize the person or entity responsible for this positive thing in our life.<br />
<br />
In other words, gratitude is about recognizing how lucky or blessed we are to be able to enjoy even the most mundane aspects of our lives, but also recognizing that it comes from the help and kindness of other people.<br />
<br />
If you pass a test, you may feel <b>proud</b> of your own work. You may also feel <b>grateful</b> for your friend who gave you his notes, your partner who listened to your rehearsals, or even a spiritual figure you prayed to.<br />
<br />
I think the social aspect of gratitude is a part of what makes it so positive for us and the people around us: not only do we become aware of all the positive things in our life, we also become aware of all the people who helped make this possible for you. Pushed to its best, gratitude makes us kinder to other people, as we recognize the value or cooperation and mutual help.<br />
<br />
<h3>
The benefits of gratitude</h3>
In the <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2015/09/the-science-of-happiness.html" target="_blank">science of happiness MOOC</a>, there was a whole week dedicated to gratitude. Is it that important to happiness, even from a scientific perspective? Of course the answer is yes.<br />
<br />
Simply put, gratitude is a way to make ourselves see the glass half-full instead of half-empty. Being grateful about the little things is a pathway to feeling grateful for our life as a whole, good and bad. This in turn provides health benefits such as the decrease of stress and tension.<br />
<br />
But gratitude is also a way to actively counteract negative thoughts and feelings. How can you feel envious of others, while feeling grateful for what you have? Gratitude helps remove (or at least diminish) the tendency for comparison, envy or jalousy, the need for more, for revenge or to keep score.<br />
<br />
Gratitude helps us feeling content with what we have, feel less need to own more, or to be better than someone else. Thus, we can focus on becoming better ourselves, rather than comparing ourselves to others. Ultimately, gratitude helps having healthier relationships, including with our significant other, family and friends, and helps being kinder and more helpful to other people as well.<br />
<br />
But gratitude isn't about becoming the fool who lets him or herself be deceived by others. Nor is it about being naive about the world. I strongly believe that feeling more gratitude towards life is a way to be stronger inside, more in peace with ourselves and others. it is a way to be more resilient to negative episodes in our lives, as we take energy from the positive aspects of it, to be more content, and more sure of who we want to be and what we want.<br />
<br />
<h3>
How to cultivate gratitude?</h3>
There are many ways to help us reshape our brains into feeling more grateful for our lives in general. One of them is to sit down and actively think about what you are grateful for today. This little gratitude exercise, practiced often enough, helps changing our vorld view and, over time, feeling more grateful about our life in general.<br />
<br />
What Anouchka proposes is to turn December into an exercise of gratitude. Every day starting tomorrow, think about what you feel thankful for. Something little or big, mundane or life-changing. And think about who you feel grateful to, as well. Who helped you get this positive element of your life? Perhaps you could even tell them.<br />
<br />
What I offer is an advent calendar of gratitude. Starting tomorrow, like you would open your advent calendar and eat a chocolate, sit down for five minutes and write down one little thing you feel grateful for today. Then, on December 25, get all 24 pieces of gratitude together and read them again.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>What a great holiday present, don't you think? I'll post my own gratitude list on the blog after December 25, please, do let me know if you participate so I can read your list at the end of the month too!</i></div>
<br />
PS: if you speak French, I have written <a href="http://www.lanifeenlair.com/post/Le-Calendrier-de-l-Avent-de-la-Gratitude" target="_blank">about the Advent Calendar of Gratitude on the French blog</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-36909839142865305432015-11-27T14:34:00.000+01:002016-08-10T14:00:27.920+02:00Why Mindfulness is Important<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJQiZqLduKXEeqxmL57kOw0jPCXW_PQJyv8rJkU1NQvV3Ag9ri7M-RMN0mw0jVnBrcCPaIc_4HJvZavHgWN0r4SoAH7it0mgRUtS7BkZysH3KSvh1LQKhtaCTi166UwY1svJYfTCEMnmM/s1600/mountain-river.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJQiZqLduKXEeqxmL57kOw0jPCXW_PQJyv8rJkU1NQvV3Ag9ri7M-RMN0mw0jVnBrcCPaIc_4HJvZavHgWN0r4SoAH7it0mgRUtS7BkZysH3KSvh1LQKhtaCTi166UwY1svJYfTCEMnmM/s640/mountain-river.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">source: <a href="https://40.media.tumblr.com/c8ca3915b1365d06e4be1af28be2c9fc/tumblr_nch01ywqWv1spnyg9o1_500.jpg" target="_blank">tumblr</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
If you are interested in simplicity and minimalism, you probably heard about mindfulness before. I have broached the subject myself, about <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2013/08/mindfulness-habits.html" target="_blank">mindfulness and habits</a>, or <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2013/05/meditation.html" target="_blank">meditation</a> for example. One could think it is a part of the trend, but I came to believe there is something really important in the idea of being mindful. Here are my two cents.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<h3>
What is mindfulness?</h3>
I shall keep short on this, as you probably have read quite enough on the subject to know what we are talking about here. Basically, mindfulness means being in the present moment, being aware of what is happening inside and outside. It is the opposite of mind wandering: you are here, now, conscious of this very moment, instead of being caught in thoughts or worries.<br />
<br />
Simple, you think? But it isn't. Our minds are constructed to wander. Our brains have evolved to be able to remember, theorize and try to predict the future. Our mind wandering is a part of why the human race evolved to where we are now. Studies show that we are mind wandering most of the time, and even the best meditation master can't remain fully mindful for long.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Mindfulness and Happiness</h3>
If we are made to mind wander, why fight it, you ask? I understand chasing negative thoughts and worries, but tons of nice things also happen in my head. I won't contradict you, my mind is full of dragons and magic and spaceships and weird imagainary friends (and an alien advisor) and I wouldn't drop it for the world.<br />
<br />
However, studies on happiness show that people who are in the moment are always happier than people who are mind-wandering, even if they are having positive thoughts. Mindfulness helps being aware of what is going on, enjoying the good experiences you are living here and now. In a way, mindfulness is the way to life appreciation and gratitude, the way of seeing the glass half full.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Mindfulness and Finding your Way</h3>
While the points above are based on research presented in the <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.fr/2015/09/the-science-of-happiness.html" target="_blank">Science of Happiness MOOC</a> I just completed, this part is my own two cents. I feel like we spend most of our life in semi-automatic mode. Daily habits, the flow of life, what we call "métro, boulot, dodo" in French (transport, work, sleep). What happens if you wake up one day, at 20, 30, 40 or older, thinking "why am I here and what am I doing with my life?" ?<br />
<br />
I have been making efforts to be more mindful for five years now, ever since I realized one day that my external image was at odds with who I thought I was. And I started with the daily mindfulness: counting my clothes, changing my daily habits, learning to appreciate the small joys of life, on a day-to-day basis.<br />
<br />
But looking back at five years of simplicity journey, this mindfulness ended up being much more than enjoying the smell of coffee in the morning or feeling the cold air on my skin. I became aware of this discrepancy between the image I projected and who I wanted to be deep inside. I became aware of who I wanted to be deep inside, in the first place. I realized that many of my thoughts were derived from my education, culture and social class, without my ever questioning what I blindly admitted to be a truth.<br />
<br />
Becoming more mindful pushed me to see the world in a different light, to become more aware of how my life curently is and what I want to turn it into. The result? There is still a long way ahead, but I stopped wasting money in status symbol objects and started pouring my energy into what I really want to accomplish. I reconnected with old passions and hobbies (collecting minerals, playing the violin...), started to write fiction again.<br />
<br />
After five years, this little daily thing that is mindfulness transformed my life. I feel better because my actions and choices are more in line with who I want to be. I feel like I am the change I want to see in the world (or at least, I know I want to, and start making efforts). I feel like I pour my time, energy and money into things that really matter to me. I feel like I'm really working toward my own definition of success, and not someone else's. and I sincerely think it all started with mindfulness.<br />
<br />
<h3>
What Now?</h3>
I will publish a level up mini-challenge soon to give you ideas on how to be more mindful in the everday life. In the meantime, one of the ideas to explore is meditation practice. You can find some free guided meditations <a href="http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22">here</a> if you have a mind to give it a try.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>What about you? Did your simplicity journey lead to more mindfulness? Have you seen larger scale changes when looking back at your life?</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-90844685935117695542015-11-21T10:45:00.000+01:002015-11-21T10:46:17.928+01:00Food For Thought // #16<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK7_K05IU_-9Zzk5_O3a0_hTCD4KDs2u8MntWd06rxHwTyevpTUF-AshUYO8BBW4aQDv_1Qhi3kV5CbdlpDZKwFTAHReHkKK5FXVdn3jSHhOsHqCr9ZhbxRAtmb470Q1ddtFS_lFGTy-4/s1600/coffee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK7_K05IU_-9Zzk5_O3a0_hTCD4KDs2u8MntWd06rxHwTyevpTUF-AshUYO8BBW4aQDv_1Qhi3kV5CbdlpDZKwFTAHReHkKK5FXVdn3jSHhOsHqCr9ZhbxRAtmb470Q1ddtFS_lFGTy-4/s640/coffee.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/136203181@N04/21732575410/" target="_blank">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b>By Mark Manson - <a href="http://markmanson.net/10-life-lessons-excel-30s">10 Life Lessons to Excel in your 30s</a></b><br />
<br />
In the <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.com/2015/07/food-for-thought-15.html">previous round-up</a>, I mentioned one of Mark Manson's articles about what he learned in his 20s, which is useful for all ages of course, but made me want to know what I would advise my 30 year-old self as I'm preparing to reach that age.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
As it turns out, Mark Manson has written an article about this too: he asked his older readers to tell him what they would tell their 30 year-old self, and compiled the most recurring answers into an article.<br />
<br />
This is a brilliant idea. As Daniel Gilbert points out in his book <i>Stumbling upon Happiness</i>, our brains are rather bad at imagining how we will feel in the future. However, asking how other people, who face your future situation now, are feeling, is an extremely accurate way to determine our future feelings. But our brains have a hard time believing someone else's experience is useful to predict our own, because we want to believe we are different from other people.<br />
<br />
Bottom line is: you want to know what you will advise your 30 year-old self in 10 years? Ask a bunch of 40 year-olds. And that's what the author did in this article.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
While going through the emails what surprised me the most was just how consistent some of the advice was. The same 5-6 pieces of advice came up over and over and over again in different forms across literally 100s of emails.</blockquote>
<br />
In the end, he picked the 10 most recurring pieces of advice, with quotes and examples from the readers who answered his question. I'll let you read these, but they made me think. A lot. Especially this one:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
6. DON’T BE AFRAID OF TAKING RISKS, YOU CAN STILL CHANGE<br />
“Biggest regrets I have are almost exclusively things I did *not* do.” (Sam, 47)
</blockquote>
<br />
Ironic anecdote: as I was reading that passage of the article, Deezer (the French Spotify) was blasting Yael Naim's song "Coward". "How did I become a coward?" she asks.<br />
<br />
This advice was right in the feels for me. It's stupid to think that because you're no longer a 20 year-old making a choice of major at school or first employer for your internship, you can no longer change the course of your life.<br />
<br />
Do any of these pieces of advice resonate with you? For those of you who are older, what advice would you give to your 30 year-old self?<br />
<br />
<b>On TED - Alain de Botton : <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_philosophy_of_success">A kinder, gentler philosophy of success</a></b><br />
<br />
There are many interesting ideas in this TED talk - in which the philosopher Alain de Botton examines why so many of us express career anxiety at some point, and what success really is about.<br />
<br />
First, he examines how social status is a way to get love and attention from other people - we have career anxiety because in today's world, we are often defined as a person through how well we do in our career. But social status isn't only about career, and he points out how owning certain objects is more about getting people's attention, approval and love, than it is about the object itself. In other words, we aren't really materialistic per se, we just live in a society where success and social status are expressed through material items.<br />
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You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times, that we're all greedy people. I don't think we are particularly materialistic. I think we live in a society which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards to the acquisition of material goods. It's not the material goods we want; it's the rewards we want. It's a new way of looking at luxury goods.
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There are many more interesting points in this talk, about how our equality focused society generates envy, or depression as we feel responsible for our own failures (rather than fate, or some religious figure), and the flipside of meritocracy. But I'll leave you with this very interesting piece to ponder, hoping my mini-explanation makes you want to watch the video itself.<br />
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So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas, and make sure that we own them; that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it's bad enough not getting what you want, but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want, and find out, at the end of the journey, that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.
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<b>On Elle - <a href="http://www.elle.com/culture/news/a31635/essena-oneill-instagram-social-media-is-not-real-life/" target="_blank">Essena O'Neill quitting Social Media</a></b><br />
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I'll have to be honest, I didn't know Essena O'Neill before, and I stumbled upon this article weeks after its publication, so I'm not exactly up to date here. I wanted to finish this Food For Thought post on that though, for two reasons.<br />
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First, I think the "dark side" of social media she is denouncing is real. I have never lived it myself, as my following is small and I never tried to grow it. But I can see what she means, and I read an article in French recently about why "millenials" are less happy than their parents. It turns out constant comparison of our behind the scenes with everyone else's social media highlight reel was a big cause of unhappiness.<br />
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On the <a href="http://the-nife.blogspot.com/2015/11/epicurean-simplicity.html" target="_blank">Epicurean Simplicity</a> post, I mentioned that we tend to forget to be thankful and appreciative of the little gifts of life because we are saturated by images of perfection and luxury. I think social media has a big part to play in this as well. This doesn't mean we should never share beautiful images on social media, but stepping back and being aware that this isn't real is important, and that's what Essena O'Neill is trying to do with her Let's be the Game Changers initiative.<br />
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The second reason I wanted to share this article with you, is that I am fascinated by her sudden and complete change, it is an awakening, one might think. I'm assuming she is truthful here, of course.<br />
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I have lived such change on a smaller scale these past five years, first when I realized my external image didn't correspond with who I thought I was, then when I realized I could very well be a writer after all, while having a day job, if only I kept writing.<br />
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I will write a post about this specifically, but these changes have led to my being more curious about life and other people's initiatives (I discovered TED then), more environment conscious, more in tune with my body and attentive to my health, more connected to others, and, ultimately, more willing to make a difference in this world.<br />
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And when I read Essena O'Neill's blog, it feels like she has lived such transformation as well: she does mention TED, she wants to help people see and spread the news about game changing actions. It's not only about closing her social media accounts, it is about become aware of certain things, learning, spreading the word, making a difference.<br />
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Why, I wonder? What made her change so drastically, and how come her change comes with the same type of awareness and questioning that I, and many others, have?<br />
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Anyway, just wanted to leave that here, I'll probably foment a blog post or two based on these thoughts. If you are interested, you can check out her website: <a href="http://www.letsbegamechangers.com/" target="_blank">Let's be the Game Changers</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.com2