tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post843107756733735856..comments2024-01-11T11:41:22.827+01:00Comments on Dream On: Positive ComparisonAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-42778656529464824102013-07-06T19:31:09.153+02:002013-07-06T19:31:09.153+02:00Great questions Kali! I think it would be extremel...Great questions Kali! I think it would be extremely helpful for us to stop and jot down who inspires us and why. Who we admire and why. Or who we aspire to be like and why. When it comes to this trendy debate of bloggers and envy, I think actually taking the time to write out our thoughts on each individual would curb the negative comparison loop quite effectively.Letitiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01732746550504426512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-79206303271508574772013-07-06T09:24:29.256+02:002013-07-06T09:24:29.256+02:00Thanks! I saw you changed yours too, very nice and...Thanks! I saw you changed yours too, very nice and sleek :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-17611113568719672312013-07-06T09:23:35.976+02:002013-07-06T09:23:35.976+02:00That's a very interesting subject to think abo...That's a very interesting subject to think about! I was very surprised to read that imitation and comparison are embedded in our genes. So I guess it's not about weakness. But I wonder what situations make us compare negatively - and undermine ourselves, and what situation makes us inspired and moving forward. <br /><br />In my case, I am trying to actively stop myself when I start entering negative comparison loops, but people I compare myself to are not necessarily those who inspire me. So another question: what makes a person inspirational? Why would you feel inspired by one and not another? Good questions to think about indeed!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-72466859407667951982013-07-05T19:52:17.823+02:002013-07-05T19:52:17.823+02:00PS- love the new look doll!PS- love the new look doll!Letitiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01732746550504426512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-92086273938000168232013-07-05T19:51:54.231+02:002013-07-05T19:51:54.231+02:00Exactly the topic I have been pondering over all m...Exactly the topic I have been pondering over all month. So glad to see a post on this. I want to give it more thought because every time I form an opinion on comparison versus inspiration, I feel as though my thoughts change. On one end it seems as though weaker minds fall to the negative aspect of inspiration (turning inspiration into comparison into envy, etc) but then maybe its not about weakness. So i don't know. Still have some digging to do...Letitiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01732746550504426512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-67299829684727903192013-07-05T08:45:54.962+02:002013-07-05T08:45:54.962+02:00"My diamond shoes are too tight", I love..."My diamond shoes are too tight", I love it! I tend to rationalize by listening to what some acquaintances of mine tend to complain about. I don't know how to explain it, but Paris seems to harbor a different type of middle class than smaller cities. A bit more posh or bourgeois, and sometimes they complain about things so ridiculous, when I listen to them I remind myself never to become like that. So, when I start complaining about something, I remember that kind of people and think "no, this is not worth complaining about".<br /><br />It is actually great that you nurture positive comparison with your past self! The exercise I sometimes do is imagine I meet myself as a child and ask: "are you happy with how I turned out?" Because that way I compare with my own goals and ideals, and not with other people around me whose choices and circumstances are different than mine. And it works very well at cheering me up when I'm a bit down: Child Me loves my adult life!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-47074615174787640942013-07-05T08:41:10.779+02:002013-07-05T08:41:10.779+02:00Ah, sports is a very competitive domain, so compar...Ah, sports is a very competitive domain, so comparison is difficult to avoid! I am using Nike + a lot, and tend to feel bad when my friends run many more kilometers than I do. Also, I think the body forgets very quickly. I almost didn't go to the gym in June because of all these travels, well, when I went back yesterday... Suffice to say I'm suffering this morning. It is a bit discouraging to think all 2013 efforts can be ruined in one month. <br /><br />But, there is another way to see it. First, when you train again after stopping, you don't start exactly from zero, you tend to get back in shape much more quickly than someone who never trained before, so you build you health capital each time you train in your life, no matter if you were in better shape one year ago or not. Besides, you could also compare to further away in the past, when you weren't in shape yet, and think you still have gathered some health capital since...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-59346120169598783652013-07-05T08:35:46.662+02:002013-07-05T08:35:46.662+02:00Ah that's a good idea, rationalizing by callin...Ah that's a good idea, rationalizing by calling it "first world problem" and think about how much worse some people probably have it. It is also a way to counteract negative comparison I guess. <br /><br />In terms of career, I think it isn't over until retirement (if any). I'm a firm believer in opportunities and shifts along life, so I am sure that you are gathering all the experience and good things from your current job, and that you will find a way to get a job with more travel one day if it is really something you aspire to.<br /><br />It is true it doesn't make any sense to compare ourselves to very rich people for example. In the piece I read (in the magazine Clés, that I love, too bad it is in French), they say we don't really compare ourselves to people very different than us (very poor or very rich people for example). We tend to compare to people with a similar situation (socially, culturally...) For example, even though I've been in Japan for a year, I never really compared myself to Japanese salarymen who work 15 hours a day. But I have a tendency to compare myself to my colleagues or friends who are globally in the same socio-cultural group. But this is also a good way to turn negative comparison into positive one, because since these people are quite similar to me, I can find things that are "better" as much as I can find things that are "worse", if it makes any sense.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-33393008366173294352013-07-05T08:27:18.510+02:002013-07-05T08:27:18.510+02:00I guess inspiration, like imitation, are a sort of...I guess inspiration, like imitation, are a sort of comparison in a way - they use these "mirror neurons" and you have to compare first and see the differences before being inspired. Maybe, I'm not sure, but it feels like inspiration is a form of positive comparison, a factor of motivation or something.<br /><br />Ah I thought "grand-uncle" did sound like foreigner's English haha. I'll keep that in mind. This blog is such an opportunity to keep learning English!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18258704812525496584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-49087768912714607212013-07-04T18:17:55.141+02:002013-07-04T18:17:55.141+02:00Haha, like Lin I am quick to consider whether I am...Haha, like Lin I am quick to consider whether I am having a "first world problems"/"my diamond shoes are too tight" kind of situation whenever I feel like complaining about something. I think my last one was "my new desk at work is so big my headphones can't reach from my MacBook to my ears, boo hoo". Ridiculousness!<br /><br />I've never thought about it before, but I actually do positive comparison quite a lot. Both in the way that I compare my current situation with where I was a year or two ago (so much progress!), and that I simply consider how incredibly lucky I am. I'm 27 and I have already reached so many of my goals, and as for the rest of the goals, well, the only person keeping me from reaching them is myself and my own priorities. <br /><br />I can totally relate to Erin and her sports injury, too. I was SO strong and fit a year ago, but then depression hit, and then my crazy allergies, and then asthma. I will be pretty much starting from scratch again come August. I'm still motivated to go for it though, and I can't wait to get back in shape again :)Maja Hhttp://www.majahuse.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-91039153334489955082013-07-04T15:03:20.527+02:002013-07-04T15:03:20.527+02:00I actually didn't know about mirror neurons, v...I actually didn't know about mirror neurons, very interesting! And yes, I fall into the comparison trap all the time, although hopefully I've gotten better, and your tips will certainly help! <br /><br />I'm struggling with it a little now, since I've just been able to get back to weight-lifting after a sports injury, and funny enough I'm comparing myself to how I was last year before my shoulder injury (and maybe a little bit the other people in the gym...). <br />I just keep having to remind myself that "shit happens" and I was stronger then because it was different circumstances, nothing more, nothing less. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00413377943169576514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-61217962110656666362013-07-04T14:35:41.138+02:002013-07-04T14:35:41.138+02:00My friends and I call each other out on "firs...My friends and I call each other out on "first world problems" quite regularly so that we keep a sense of perspective on whether we really "have it tough". I think comparing ourselves to acquaintances who are say, making tonnes of money, is kind of looking for problems where there may be none. It might be a motivating factor for some to compete and do better but I don't function that way. Like you, I prefer to set my own goals. <br /><br />I used to dream of a job that would allow me to travel as well but my career has taken a rather home-based turn! It's funny because I grew up inspired by journalists who travelled the world to tell stories. I think those opportunities are still open to me though and although I am satisfied by my job, it does not fulfil some of the goals I still hope to achieve. <br />linhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00638024559737049131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4278952973244360576.post-42258845755833826572013-07-04T14:20:23.563+02:002013-07-04T14:20:23.563+02:00Interesting post. When it comes to people, I think...Interesting post. When it comes to people, I think I tend to feel inspired, as opposed to feeling a need to compare. I think the idea is the same as what you are saying, just a different choice of language.<br /><br />I am trying to think of the role that comparison plays in my life. I have a tendency towards negative comparisons, I am going to pay attention now and see if I can see some positive ones. <br /><br />Your grandfather's brother is your great uncle - at least that is what we say in my family! In general, "grand" in French becomes "great" in English, except for your parents' parents, who are "grandparents" in both languages but with a different pronunciation :) Abbynoreply@blogger.com